smartie

McKay had parent teacher conference earlier this month.  Brian was off early, so we were both able to go and sit down with Mrs. McKell and talk about our boy.

McKay is a good boy.  She only had one bad thing to say about him- that he fights with Kylee.  She's tried to get to the bottom of their falling out, but no one, not even McKay and Kylee, can explain it.  I wasn't surprised by this, but we've been talking more about it at home now.

But, that's not even worth mentioning, really, because everything else she said about McKay was great.
He's a good boy.  He's a sweet boy, and I think his teachers can easily see that.

Hundred things poster- one hundred paper airplanes.  He is really into paper airplanes right now and this was all his idea.  We worked hard to make all those tiny paper airplanes, and they we hot glued them all together.  It was pretty awesome.

His teacher evaluation.  He's doing awesome!

Some artwork- maybe a future self portrait?

I love this little buddy.  He's a joy in my life.

thoughts on an easter sunday

Just a few thoughts about Easter that I want to record tonight...

We had a really great lesson in Sunday School today about Easter.  I was surprised at how touched I was by the Spirit because I was not feeling particularly "in tune" this morning.  It was a nice surprise.  The teacher shared her feelings on the resurrection taking on new, deeper meaning when someone close to you dies.  This made me think of death and resurrection and how closely tied those two things are.  

My mind went right to Ellery and how someone close to her died- Sparkles.  I know, it's just a guinea pig and I know that Elle really didn't care too much for Sparkles when she was alive, but there was grief when she passed, and that grief still comes up from time to time.  

I sat there in Sunday School and just marveled at how comforting the knowledge of a resurrection is.  I don't know if Sparkles will be resurrected or not, but Ellery is certain that she will- we talk about it all the time- and that knowledge has helped her to over come the innocent grief that came with loosing a pet.  It made me think of how one day Ellery will loose someone close to her, and how this- Sparkles and her faith in her resurrection- is just a building block of  that faith she will some day use in a much more real, deeper way.  

I realized how grateful I am to have this knowledge to share and teach to my children- to ease their pain and sorrow a little bit when they are faced with death.  They will have this knowledge to keep and hold on to and use.  

Hmm, I didn't intend to focus so much on death here- just kind of happened.  I was lucky enough to have that spirit carry over to young women's where we watched a video and discussed repentance.  I wasn't teaching today, so I just sat and as I watched the video of Christ going through his final days, I imagined what I would want to share with the girls had I been teaching.  The thing that came to mind was watching that video- seeing what the Savior went through and how he suffered and imagining the pain and agony he was in- with the thought, "He did this for me".  I watched it that way and every scene I came upon was personal to me.  I wanted my beehives to know that no matter what they experience in this life- heartache, sin, loneliness, pain, regret, sorrow- He has been there.  He is right there with them.  And His grace can cover all of that pain and hurt and regret.

After church as I was teaching my kids with our little plastic eggs with symbols of the resurrection in them, I thought about when I gained a testimony of the Resurrection, the Atonement, and just what Easter means in general.  I didn't have an answer.  Like so many things, I think it just built up over time, through the experiences in my life and what I've learned.  It's interesting to not be able to pinpoint something that is so important.  It's interesting that something that happened gradually can become something so strong.

We asked the kids if they wanted to share their testimonies after I finished with the lesson.  Ellery went first.  Then McKay.  Then Ellery again.  And Layla.  And finally, Ellery.  Yeah, she kept asking to do it again, which was very sweet.  I loved hearing the inflection's that they've heard and are trying to imitate.  I hope we can teach them.  I hope we can be good examples to them and that they can share our testimonies while they are developing their own.  And I hope so much that gradually, over time and through their experiences, they will come out with something strong and good and sturdy.  That is my hope this Easter.

and always...

Happy Easter Sunday.

thoughts on a sunday

• McKay used to love playing with animals, but Ellery never played with them as much.  I had forgotten about them for Layla, but added them to our upstairs toy basket when I rotated it this week.  She set them up like this and played with them for a long time. . . in her undies of course. I think she's a fan.  

• When Layla wakes up she has a one track mind: Eat breakfast.  It's her top priority, and it's almost always oatmeal.  She usually wakes up first, so her and I will go down and I will fix her a bowl of oatmeal.  Most mornings she asks for seconds, so I'll make her another bowl.  Awhile later, when McKay and Ellery are having their breakfast, she'll usually ask for whatever they're having.  She eats like three meals at breakfast.

• We try to go to Storytime at the Lehi library with Gemma and Carson every Thursday.  My girls love it so much and whenever I go I wonder why I don't take more advantage of more library Storytimes.  Layla desperately wants to have some sort of school, so between this and nursery I think she's feeling pretty good about it.  The Lehi library does a great job.

• Nonnie had an infection in her leg and my mom was changing her dressing.  It's so obvious that I am the only non-nurse in my family, because I was cringing just sitting near by, knowing what was going on.  My mom said she needed some help and Ellery popped right by her side and declared herself the assistant.  She was right in the action and not affected by it at all.  Maybe we'll have another nurse in the family someday...

• You know how missionaries trade and barter for things?  I don't know if you know about that, but in the Auckland mission, it happened.  Brian somehow traded his way to an ENORMOUS pair of gray sweatpants.  I'm talking very large, Samoan football player's sweatpants.  He has kept them all these years, and somehow they became part of his race gear.  He brings them on races and wears them before it starts to keep warm.  This surprised and confused me because if I were running a race I think I'd like to pack light, and these things are pretty hefty.  Anyway, the other night I was folding laundry and was folding these pants- Brian had just run the Moab half.  We started talking about the sweats and McKay decided to try them on.  I was laughing so hard.  He was like a giant pair of pants with a head.  He wanted to wear them to bed, and we didn't think he would be able to fall asleep but when we checked on him later, he was fast asleep, nestled deep inside the pants.

• We had a pretty big anniversary to celebrate this week.  Brian and I have been married for ten years!  Since we're going to Hawaii in April to officially celebrate this milestone, we didn't really plan anything...except I accidentally planned a family outing to see Les Mis at Lone Peak High School.  So I pretended that I had planned it on purpose.  We did get to go to lunch earlier that day, which was nice.  We went to Chili's.  Brian and I used to go to Chili's all the time.  It's actually where we went on our first date.  I ordered a side of mashed potatoes and gravy and Brian thought I was strange.  Anyway, we haven't been to Chili's in probably six years, but I picked it for our ten year anniversary lunch date.  It wasn't that good, but then it was kinda good- I couldn't decide how I felt.  We probably won't be back anytime soon.

• Enough about Chili's, goodness.  Ten years is kind of a long time.  We were thinking about all that had happened in these ten years.  I kind of feel like we are not at all the same people who sat at Chili's on their first date and ate mashed potatoes.  No.  We've both changed a lot.  I'm glad I've gotten to spend these years with him and glad that we both still like each other.  And, I can't wait to go to Hawaii to officially celebrate!

• Ellery is counting down the days until we go because she can't wait to be babysat for a whole week by Grandma.  It can't come soon enough for her.

• Okay, back to the play.  We really enjoyed it.  We had an extra ticket, so Grandma came with us, which was even more fun.  Brian and I are fans of the musical, and love the music.  After we saw the movie in December, we've been listening to it more often at home.  I have often heard the kids stuck on a song as well, and sometimes they would ask what it was about.  I tried to explain- but it's a pretty complicated story to tell to children.  That's why when I heard Lone Peak was doing the play, I really wanted to take the opportunity to go and have my kids see it for themselves.  It was long- nearly three hours- and they did awesome.  We sat right in the front row, right behind the orchestra.  I know a lot of it went  over their heads, but I think they kind of get it now.

• Layla got to spend that night with the Allreds.  She loves it over there and loved getting all that attention to herself.  That whole day I kept prepping her about falling asleep in Alyssa's bed, hoping she would do it easily.  She didn't.  She stayed up until ten o'clock, where she then fell asleep in between Lisa and Trevor in their bed.  Stinker.

• Earlier this week, back when it was Spring time, I took the girls to the park.  They wanted to stay all day and loved the tire swing the most.  Ash and Elle tried the monkey bars, but couldn't do them.  They kept trying and practicing and working really hard.  It was cute to see their determination.  Ash eventually got all the way across, and Ellery almost made it to the end- she was close.  I'm sure that she'll be trying again the next time we go.  Layla wanted in on the monkey bars too.  She hung on for a surprisingly long time.  Long enough for me to get my phone out, turn the camera on and snap a few pictures. 

Happy Sunday!

thoughts on my boy and his mother

About a month ago I wrote the following (in italics), with the intention of posting it.  Got distracted, never finished, but I'm going to post it anyway because tonight I think I can finish.

I'm sitting here at the computer in a quiet house.  My girls are asleep- I put them to bed an hour ago- and my boys are at the Cub Scout Blue and Gold banquet.  I kind of can't believe that's where they are. I remember being the Wolf den leader just a year ago in Oregon and having Steven and Nathaniel as brand new wolves.  Now I'm supposed to believe that my McKay is old enough to be a wolf?  Really? I can't.  He was so excited.  It really feels like yesterday that he was begging to come to cubs with me when I would go every Wednesday.  He wanted so much to be big enough.  And now he is.

We all learn how fast time really does go by when we become parents.  I'm guessing the longer you are a parent, the more you agree with that statement.  I am feeling it more lately.  McKay will be a second grader before I know it.  I remember when I was a second grader.  Sitting in short, yellow-haired, big-glasses Mrs. Spalding's class.

I'm so happy my kids are growing and healthy and I know they have to get older, but that's why I'm going to cherish these little things about them...the things that mean they are still little.

Like how McKay thinks Junie B. Jones is totally hilarious, or when he gets excited to read a picture book with me.

How he comes up with the idea at five 'o clock to invite whole families to dinner, and can't understand in the least bit why that isn't possible.

I love how he is eager to wear his pajamas on pajama day at school, and how he still will watch the preschool-aged shows that his sisters love.

I am soaking up the times when we walk to school together and he holds my hand the whole way down and listens intently to my stories.

I can't get enough of looking at the pictures he draws, and even reading his worksheets from school and imagining him at his table in the classroom, trying his best to fill in the blanks.

How his eyes sparkle with innocence and happiness, and his smile shows off that big giant tooth with dimples on the side.

I could almost cry when I think about cuddling up to him in his bed- him scooting over to make room for me- and reading and talking and snuggling right before it's time to turn out the light.

I am trying to consciously relish in this stage of life.  I know I will miss it.  Just the other day, as Layla was yell-singing at the top of her lungs in Target, a woman shook her head, laughed and told me how much she missed the experience I was having at that moment.  I know someday I'll do the same.  And that's why it's so important for me to write these feelings down.  Someday, I want to be able to look back and realize that I was trying my best to savor this time in my life.  I'm trying.  I am.

It isn't always easy to appreciate though.  Some days I feel like all I want in the world is a big career with a paycheck.  You know, actually getting paid for some kind of a skill that I have honed and can contribute.  Some days I feel like I'm really bad at the "career" I do have.  Some days I feel lonely in my role as mother-of-three.

But.

I do love my babies.  Oh, how I love them.  It hurts sometimes.  And I do love this time in my life.  It's not always easy- far from actually- but I love it and I know how important is to appreciate it and look for the great in it everyday.

I'm trying.  I am.
 

thoughts on a sunday

• Playing a new Disneyland game on dad's new toy.  I sure love my little family, even all huddled around "electronics". 

• McKay was talking about something in the kitchen this week- can't remember what- when at the end of his sentence he said, "Yeah, that would be a total disastrophy."  

• I've noticed a trend after nearly every bath.  Ellery will stay naked the longest, and always finds herself jumping up on her bed and dancing naked as she sings to herself and watches every move in the mirror.

• McKay was asked by someone in our ward to be in a photograph for the church magazines.  I think it will be in a primary manual next year, or something.  Anyway, he was surprised to see his church clothes all laid out when he got home from school on Thursday and I told him that Sister Eldridge needed him to take a picture at the church.  So he got dressed, grabbed a snack, and we all headed down to the church.  While McKay and his buddy Taylen were being models, me and the girls waited outside with Taylen's mom and two younger siblings.  We were trying to entertain them with pretty much nothing.  They were hunting for pinecones for awhile, and that's when I noticed that Layla had gone into the parking lot and began snuggling the white painted man on the handicap spot.  Like she was laying on the ground, curled up in his lap and just laying there.

• I am struggling with little Laysie.  Since the time change last week, she has been having a hard time going to sleep.  Maybe because it's like noon in her bedroom when I put her down at seven?  She is tired and she wakes up grumpy and I'm pretty sure she has been a different person ever since we took her souci away.  Yeah, it's been months.  I miss my always happy little girl and I am sad that something is off in her world to make her wake up so cranky.

• It's hard for the other kids to have it so light outside at bedtime too.  It just feels wrong.  I remember when the kids were really little and all the older neighbor kids would be out playing and we stuck to our guns for years with a seven o'clock bedtime, even during the summer.  I can tell this summer is going to be different.  I'm going to have to get Layla used to going to bed on her own, because she still needs to go down on time.

• I've decided that I am really horrible when it comes to potty training.  You guys, she was doing sooo good that first week.  I felt like things were going to be super easy and she picked it up really fast.  But then you know what I've done?  I've been completely impatient.  I know how important it is to let them do it themselves.  Pull down the pants, struggle to get on the potty, take FOREVER until they're ready to wipe, pull up the pants, and flush.  This is where I ruin it.  We are in a hurry to go somewhere so I pull the pants down, plop her on the potty and hurry her along until I pull her pants back up.  Yes, I let her do it on her own sometimes, but I think I've just let her get too comfortable with me being involved and prompting her to go, etc...  She is having more accidents and rarely chooses to go on her own anymore.  Frustrated and mad at myself.  I get and F.

• McKay signed up for an origami after school class.  Can't wait to see what he'll whip up out of paper.

• Brian ran the Moab half marathon with his dad, Jenn, Darrell and Alex.  He is so happy to be back in Utah where he can run this favorite race.  I think he felt pretty good about his run and time and had a fun trip overall.

• Brian has decided to make all of our bread from here on out.  The idea just took hold and he couldn't let it go, and he's done it faithfully for the last couple months.  One thing I  have loved about this is his determination.  His first few batches were only a couple inches tall, but he just kept going on and trying and baking until he got it right.  It's delicious and I know I'm lucky.

• There are a few things I've been meaning to do for a long time- like years.  One, is teaching my kids how to clean and do chores, the other is teaching them manners in a deliberate and purposeful way. 

• I'll start with the chores.  For a long time I felt like there were too little and I didn't want to bother with it.  Then they got a little older but I just didn't know how I wanted to incorporate it into our weekly routine.  Just a couple months ago I finally did it.  I used to clean the house myself during the week.  This became really overwhelming for me when we moved into this house.  Anyway, we now all do chores on Saturday mornings.  The kids have their own things to do like vacuum the stairs, clean the bathroom, wipe down the cabinets- and always clean their rooms and the playroom.  They dread the playroom the most.  It feels so good to me to have finally done this.  We are finally teaching them to work and clean.  I love the feeling in the house as we are all busy doing our various jobs to keep our  home nice and tidy.  I also love that we are teaching them that we work before we play.  Brian feels really strongly about that and has done a good job reminding them that's why we work hard on Saturday morning.  It's still sometimes hard for Brian and I to get up the motivation to start cleaning- we're used to lazy Saturdays- but it feels really great once we're done and I love that it's something we're all working on together.

• Next, manners.  Lisa used to have a manner jar that they would talk about over dinner.  This inspired me to have a manner of the week posted where we could see it all week.  One of the kids chooses a new manner every Monday night at FHE, and then we talk about it at dinners and try to recognize people using it or not using it during the week.  We even have a little cheer when someone is caught doing a good manner.  They may not be perfect at them all, but I feel good about opening discussions and recognizing their behaviors.

• I've been proud of Ellery the last couple weeks.  We've been trying to focus on playing with friends, ever since she told me it just wasn't her talent.  There was one day where she had two different friends over to play.  That is big for this girl.  I don't want to bring negative attention to the fact that she is a homebody and is content just following me around, rather than going out and finding a friend, but it is a skill I want to try to help her develop.  It worries me a lot, actually.  She doesn't have a lot of social tact and has some things to learn.  She does great sometimes, other times it is clear that we have a long way to go.  It's a delicate balance, but we're working on it.

• Also, I hate all my pictures because many of them are from my phone and I also don't know how to edit pictures, really.  This is a skill I should learn more about...

• Something that I've come to realize lately is the importance of being still.  My mind, that is.  It's easy to keep my mind entertained at all times.  Reading this, checking that, looking at this, listening to that, having this in the background.  Literally, there is always some external thing to occupy my mind if I allow it.  I've realized this week the importance of letting my mind rest and not having anything to distract from my natural flow of thoughts.  This thought first came to me a few weeks ago.  I was with the girls waiting in the car while Brian ran into Costco.  I didn't have my phone and the girls were listening to Aida.  I found myself a little antsy with downtime, without my phone.  I found myself looking out the car window watching the rain drops fall outside and counting the birds on the tree next to us with the girls.  My mind wandered to all sorts of places and when Brian came back to the car I realized that I was able to think of things and appreciate memories that I never would have pondered on had I been "connected"to something.  It was really refreshing.  At church today this was reinforced to me again as we talked about personal revelation and turning down the volume of worldly influences.  I need to work on this, and I'm grateful to know that it's something that will improve my life.

• Layla at church today:  "Can I eat these crayons for a little while?"  Um, no.

• I can't turn on a faucet lately without Layla wanting to get involved.  She's been in her swimsuit multiple times this week- I can only imagine what summer will be like with this kid.  She and Ellery will be in their swimsuits all day, I'm sure.

• Last night our family got to go to the temple with my niece Kara.  She's going on her mission in June to Florida.  It was really fun to be there with her.  She is such a neat girl and is going to be an amazing missionary.  We left the kids with Amber, Layla's "friend" who they have been wanting to be babysat by for a long time.  She brought a babysitting bag of fun toys and I really love it when babysitters do that.  It's such a great idea.  From the reports I got from everyone, it went well.  I especially took Layla calling out "Amberrr.  Amber?" this morning in her crib to be a good sign.

• We had a fun St. Patrick's Day today.  I scrambled to find green clothing for the kids to wear.  Layla and McKay ended up wearing teal, and Ellery wore a ratty school shirt that was totally not for church, but it was green so she wore it.

• I surprised the kids with Lucky Charms for breakfast- a treat around here- and of course they loved it.  We had fun making a green dinner together, and really enjoyed our mint oreo milkshakes for dessert.  We also watched family movie, played outside, played dominos and just had an enjoyable day of rest.  Of course we couldn't end the day without an Irish dance party.

Happy St. Patrick's Sunday!

february photos

Layla and Ellery got to experience what Nonnie is most famous for- a good ear cleaning.  

Me and my sweet Ellery.

I found Foofa on the couch like this.  Looks like Layla was being "mom".

Ellery had her kindergarten checkup.  She had to pee in a cup, which was totally exciting for her.  She requested I take a picture of her holding it.  I think I already put this picture on my blog now that I'm writing about it....

My sweet mom and dad dropped off these ginormous Valentine's cookies.  They were yummy and lasted for days and days.  

 Playing in the sink occupied this child for a couple hours while I made chocolate dipped marshamallows for New Beginnings.  The floor was soaking wet, and so was she, but she really loved it.  I need to remember to let her do this more often.

This is the face of a girl who is at the doctor's office because she stuck play-doh up her nose.  It was bothering her up there and the nurse advised us to come in when I called.  The doctor never could find it, but he doused her nose with saline and said it should dissolve and be fine.  I'm kind of glad it was play-doh and not something worse.

This reminds me that there are a few things that Layla and McKay have done, that Ellery hasn't done.  

1. Stuck anything up her nose (except yesterday she told me that when she was little she swallowed a metal ring)  Layla: play-doh  McKay:  pumpkin seed

2. Had to get stitches.  Layla:  bottom lip  McKay:  Harry Potter scar

3.  Talked like a baby.  Layla:  every morning she greets me with "ga-ga"  McKay:  a habit this 7 year old is trying to break.

I'm hoping Ellery keeps going strong her own way.  It's less expensive/stressful/annoying the way she's doing it.

the cut that's my fault

I was in the kitchen scrubbing the sink when I noticed Layla playing by my sewing machine on the table.  She was fiddling with the needle, picking up pins, unraveling the thread- you know, safe things like that.  I saw her play with the needle again, and the thought came to me, "Get her down- she's going to break your needle, or stick herself with a pin.  This will not end well."  But you see, I was scrubbing the sink, and I was going to finish.  Then I noticed Layla standing on the chair, reaching over the sewing machine to get something.  That's when she fell.  I stopped scrubbing.

When I got to her, blood was just starting to pool inside her mouth.  I hugged my screaming baby and took her into the bathroom- hoping so much that it was just a tiny cut inside her mouth.  The blood really started to pour out by this time and I knew that I would have to look at it.  Brian was running- I was the only one to there to look at it.  I got a little glimpse, but there was so much blood I couldn't see well- but it didn't look like a tiny cut.  I kept splashing her mouth with a palm full of water trying to wash away all the blood.  At this point, the screaming had caught McKay and Ellery's attention.  They were huddled around us with fascinated eyes- watching all that blood go down the drain.  (This makes it seem like there was gallons of blood.  There wasn't.  But enough.)  I asked for a paper towel...no one moved.  So I yelled for a paper towel. . .twice. . .and then I had one in my hand.  I put the towel over her lips and then prepared myself to look.  

That's when I noticed the cut on the outside, below her lip.  It looked like her tooth had gone all the way through.  I began to freak out a little.  I cuddled her on the couch, the phone in my hand, and turned on Veggie Tales- her current favorite.  I began dialing the nurses that I know, Brian being first.  He didn't answer.  Jana was the lucky one who got to talk me through the crisis.  She told me to call the insta care and helped to calm me down a bit.  

I had enough sense to concoct a bandaid-wrap out of a headband, so you know I wasn't hysterical or anything.  Layla quite liked it, actually.  

At 10:30 a.m. Brian was home and the whole family was on the way to the doctor's office.  She was pretty calm by this point- fine actually.  She told the nurse that she got a bad owie on her lip.  When the nurse told Layla about the magic medicine that she was going to put on her lip, Layla excitedly said, "Yes!  That medicine is so beautiful."  That's when the  nurse fell in love with her, I think.  She was pretty cute, so I don't blame her. 

After getting numbed with topical for awhile, the doctor came in to get started on the stitches.  Layla and her calmly talked back and forth to each other during the whole procedure- three stitches- Layla mostly saying, "It doesn't hurt, it just tickles me a little."  

She didn't cry at all during the whole thing- which the doctor and nurse were completely amazed and grateful for.  Layla got to pick out two prizes- a squeaky frog and a pink ring, and McKay and Elle each got to pick one.  They were in the room for the whole thing, watching The Incredibles.  

The stitched have kind of been bothering her.  Tonight she said, "I just want these stitches off of my face!"  It's a pretty annoying spot for stitches on a two year old.  She licks her lip and chin constantly (hence the rash) and is biting at her stitches already.  I hope we make it five days!

And, yes, I do believe that this accident could have been avoided had I listened to that little prompting I had at the kitchen sink.  A good lesson for me, a sad outcome for my baby.

thoughts on a sunday

• Ah, blogging!  I am hanging on here, so I guess once a month is kinda how it goes now.  Really don't feel like doing this now, but I just gave myself 15 minutes and then I can stop.

• Sometimes I feel bad that finding the time or inspiration to write things down doesn't come as easily to me anymore.  It has been a chore for quite some time now, when it used to always be mostly fun.  That saddens me because I should be able to do this better.  But when your heart isn't in something, its hard to make it great.  I know my writing-when I actually do it- has suffered.  

• Okay, enough about that.  Lets get to it.  You know how kids will change the way they say yes or no?  Like how suddenly a toddler will start saying "Yes" all proper when before they would say "uh huh"?  Well, I love how Layla has started saying "Ummm, yes" or "ummm, no."  That's all.  I just love it.

• I've been asking her a lot of yes or no questions lately.  "Layla, do you have to go potty?"  On Monday we had the famous or infamous, depending who you are, Potty Day.  Brian was off for President's Day and took the kids up to the land with the family.  I knew Layes and I wouldn't have another opportunity to have a whole day to ourselves for who knows how long, so I decided it had to be done Monday.  We got a later start than I wanted- we had to go to the store to pick out potty treats and undies.  

• She did great.  By far my easiest, and I've been telling everyone that after Ellery, I deserve easy.  Ellery took FOREVER to train.  Like years.  So this was a nice follow-up to her experience.  We're still not finished yet and accidents still happen, but she caught on really quickly.  Yay Laysie!

• It's funny, we call them undies around here, but I think some people have been admiring her big girl "panties" because she's been throwing that term out here and there and correcting me from time to time.  "Not undies, they're panties."  

• Also, today at church I took her to the little potty in nursery.  She was completely enamored with the little potty, the little sink, the fact that they had toilet paper and paper towels.  She just thought it was all so great that there were these things in her nursery.  That's why I wasn't surprised at all when I picked her up and they told me that she was in that little potty three times.  She's kind of obsessed, I think.

• Part of me is a little bit sad to have her in undies.  It means she's growing up.  She's not a baby.  It's only a matter of time before she gets a big girl bed, sippy cups are rarely used around here anymore.  She's big.  My baby.

• McKay lost another tooth over the weekend.  He told me it was loose in the afternoon, and by the time we got home that night (late) it was out.  

• McKay has taken on the role of Layla's peacemaker.  If she's upset he will say anything to make her feel better.  Lies.  Impossible promises.  He'll say he has candy, or that she can go swimming or who knows what else he comes up with to get that baby to stop crying.  It's actually really sweet.  He is quite protective of her.  If she gets in trouble or gets put in a time out, he is literally squirming around with discomfort and/or crying along with her.  He's a sweet brother like that.  He does it with Ellery sometimes too.  He and Layla have this little thing going on right now though.  

• My cousin, Amanda, was here this weekend.  We went to a movie, went sledding and down to Riverwoods.  It was an exhausting weekend, but we had fun.  The kids were in heaven over all the cousin time.

• Today Brian was on call all day, so it was just me and the kids at home.  I thought it would be a really long day, but it was actually quite nice.  We watched family movie, did McKay's alien autopsy thing, and had a nice dinner.  Then I asked everyone if they wanted a bath.  Only Layla agreed to that.  Then I asked everyone if they wanted a bath in my tub wearing their swimsuits.  Everyone was excited for that.  They splashed a lot and were crazy, but they had fun.  After that McKay remembered an old memory of making shadow animals with a flashlight, back in our condo when he was little and really wanted to recreate that memory.  We did.  And finally, in bed by 7:15, which hasn't happened in the last four nights.  

• It's no secret that I am not a gourmet cook.  I struggle with cooking with ease.  But I want to give cooking up altogether because lately it seems like everyone hates what I make.  I cannot stand to prepare food that my kids won't even try.  It's driving me crazy right now and I have been on a pretty bad streak the last couple weeks.  The only reason I am not completely devastated is because Brian has eaten everything I've made- happily I think.  

• Although, tonight I made homemade black refried beans and to my astonishment, Mack ate them right up.  Loved them even.  

• Then there's Ellery.  She is completely obsessed with cucumbers.  I buy the mini ones for her and Layla.  Layla likes them, but Ellery devours them.  We had been out of them for a week or so and both the girls asked for them several times for a snack.  I've never been hungry for a snack and thought, "You know, a cucumber would really hit the spot right now."  Never.  This week I bought two regular ones because they were out of mini's, and they were gone within two days.  She just chomps them right up.  

• This reminds me of McKay.  He is to a point where he would rather eat home lunch.  I am still feeling the school lunch for now, but occasionally I will make him a lunch, especially on Tuesdays.  Tuesday is pizza day and the pizza that was once his favorite on the school lunch menu, is now completely disgusting.  These things change fast, you have to keep up.  So sometimes on Tuesdays I give in to the poor boy.  Anyway, the other day I packed him a lunch and we didn't have much.  I packed cheese, pepperonis, wheat thins (to make mini sandwiches), carrots, a granola bar, two large gummy bears for a treat and the only thing I had in the house to give him to drink was one of those squeeze-it drinks left over from Potty Day.  I would NEVER have those in my  house normally, and I would NEVER send them in a lunch to school.  But I did.  Well, I told him that there were some treats in his lunch, but he had to eat his healthy stuff before he ate the treats.  He promised he would and ran off to school.  That night, when I was getting his homework folder out, I noticed his lunch bag was in his backpack.  Took it out and what do you know, everything was there except the drink and the gummy bears.  His reason:  I didn't have time to eat it all.  Nice.

• "That's not my talent.  Playing with friends is not my talent.  Staying at home and coloring is." quote from Ellery Jane

• Okay, fifteen minutes is up.  That's it for now.  Pictures probably to come later....

Happy Sunday.

my sweet ellery,

Today I took you to the ballet.  

McKay gets to go on lots of dates with dad,

 and a special night with mom was WAY past due for you.

You had been waiting for weeks for it to finally be time.

You had to wait even longer when we accidentally had tickets to the night show instead of the matinee.  

At first you were content just to sit quietly on the way up, 

asking to listen the Muppets cd.

Then, when it was getting dark, you started talking.  

I think the excitement of being out late, at night, woke you up.

You wore your fanciest dress, and as you were getting ready

McKay helped you put on every piece of jewelry you own.

You looked beautiful, and very fancy.

When we got to the capital theatre you were mesmerized by it's beauty.

I saw that special twinkle in your eyes as you looked up and studied the beautiful chandeliers.    

We stopped at the refreshment counter and I let you pick out a treat.

Gummy bears.

From the time we walked into the theatre to the time we found our seats

you counted how many people commented on your pretty dress.  Five.

We found our seats and pretty soon the show started.  

You kept looking over at me with those shiny eyes

I could tell that you felt so grown up, so important.

And that's just what I wanted you to feel.

Cinderella was beautiful, the tutus were exciting

the step sisters were especially funny because they were boys

and during intermission you showed me your own ballet moves.

On the way up we talked about what manners to use at a ballet.

You remembered all of them, including clapping during appropriate times.

There was, however, a lot of clapping.

After awhile, we found our own way of clapping using one of my hands, and one of yours.

You really liked that and that's how we clapped the rest of the evening.

After the show was over, we made our way through the crowds to the elevator

where you almost got smushed because you were the only small person in there.

Within two minutes of driving on the freeway, you were fast asleep.

I loved my night at the ballet with you.

I hope you will always remember it.

I hope you will always remember how special you felt.

How special you are.

I sure love being your mom.