day one

So it's finally here.  Day one done out of 56.  

I drove Brian to the airport early this morning.    

Yesterday was a hard day.  Our last day.  

I could have cried every time I looked at him.  

I did sometimes.

I thought this morning would be harder.  

I could have hugged him for an hour right there on the drop-off curb.  

I hated seeing him walk away.  

A few tears came as said goodbye, 

and a few more as I listened to Celine Dion sing about lonely hearts on the radio.

Then I thought "how silly" and turned it off.

I talked to him five times today.

I loved picturing him riding his bike to get groceries.

Not just any bike either, a beach cruiser!

But, this is not going to be easy.

A shack.

Cockroaches instead of roommates.  

And humidity.

I could go on, but he wouldn't want me to.

Up until this morning I kept worrying about me.

How am I going to do this?

Now my focus has shifted.

I suddenly realize I should have been thinking more about him.

I hate that he has to do this.

But I know he will.  

He's amazingly strong.

My heart is just hurting. . .for lots of reasons.

But mostly, tonight it's hurting for him.

October 8th can't come soon enough.