About a week ago the whole city of Pleasant Grove had quite a scare. . .and the epicenter of that fear was based at Layla’s preschool. It started on a Friday morning when my neighbor showed back up at my house with Layla, not ten minutes after picking her up to take her to school. They were back because Layla’s teacher, Mrs. Melva, had said that her home wasn’t safe that day and that she could not hold preschool. She said she had to help her son who was not doing well. She had been waiting on her driveway to turn away her fourteen preschoolers that were showing up in groups at her house. My neighbor saw her grown son pacing back and forth through the front window. He did not look well. According to police reports, about twenty minutes later is when he went outside, to that same driveway, and waived a gun around shouting profanities. A neighbor called the cops.
But I didn’t know any of this. I thought it was strange that she canceled school, but went about my day. I was walking with a friend of mine when Brian called me. He said he had received a reverse 911 call that said the following:
This is an important message from Pleasant Grove Police Department. Do not hang up. This is an update on the barricaded subject in the Sage Drive area. This incident is still in progress. There is no threat to the schools. There is no access in or out of Sage Drive. For your safety please remain in your home. You will receive an update when further information is available. PLEASE do not call police dispatch regarding this incident.
Mrs. Melva lives on Sage Drive. Layla had been at this very house where this threat was taking place. All morning Brian and I, and also my fellow preschool moms, went over the “what if’s?” that could have been and expressed gratitude for how it turned out for the kids. We worried about Mrs. Melva and wondered if she was okay, as well as hoped for the best for her son who was clearly in a very dark place. I am grateful to Melva for making the right decision to turn those kids away, even though I'm sure it was scary and humiliating.
We knew he lived there. Some parents were uncomfortable with that fact. But I remember asking Ellery quite frequently when she went to preschool there if she ever interacted with Mrs. Melva’s son. She always said no and gave no indication that he was involved in any way in their day at school.
By 2:00 that day PG sent out another call saying that subject was in custody and the warning was lifted. When I picked my older kids up from school that day Ellery put it like this, as she excitedly told me how they had to stay in at recess, “There was a man who was having a reeeeally, reeeeally, reeeeally bad day today.”
I guess that’s all it was. A mentally unstable man having a really bad day. But throw a gun in his hand, a preschool at his house and his mom as their teacher and it becomes so much bigger than that.
All day I went back and forth between over reacting and under reacting. “It’s all fine, no big deal, no one got hurt, the police have to make it a big deal as a precaution….but she could have been in there!...what if she saw a man kill himself?....what if he had slept ‘til ten and 14 four year olds were in the house when he woke up in that state?...” It was emotional and exhausting and confusing. I was relieved to hear that Melva was okay, but extremely curious as to how she would handle what had just happened.
I didn’t have to wonder long. She sent an email out to all the parents that night, apologizing for canceling school, explaining that her son, a good person, woke up angry that day and she knew she couldn’t have children around him. She then reminded everyone that Wednesday was Ugly Day (don’t even ask) and that we’d have a make up day on Friday. Business as usual.
This did not sit well with Brian or I, but it was the weekend, so no decisions had to be made right away. I do know that all the other parents were feeling like us- very confused and unsure, and not at all satisfied with her explanation, or lack thereof. Some of them were angry. Most of them were baffled. That’s probably why Melva’s husband sent a second email on Saturday, explaining the history of their son and what it means for our kids and their school. He had struggled with drugs since he was 14 (now in his late 30’s). He had a rough life, made poor choices, but came clean on his own and was clean for the last 10 years, and living with his parents. His life was slipping back down that road, after 10 years of climbing up it, and he panicked. He got some marijuana to deal with his lack of employment and got caught. They took his license away, and the next morning he woke up with a plan to get the police to shoot him. Friday.
Mrs. Melva’s husband explained that he was locked up, and he wouldn’t be allowed at their home. He said they wouldn’t not be able to do preschool again, but were trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the school year. School would at least continue on while he was away, and she was ready for them on Monday.
Sunday night we wrestled with whether we should send Layla to school or not. The threat was gone, but if we let ourselves think about it, uneasiness would set in. Ultimately, we decided to send her, and so did nine other parents. It has now been a week since this all happened. Mrs. Melva has continued to keep us informed on her son’s whereabouts (still in jail) and reassures us that she can do graduation in a moment’s notice if his status changes. When he’s out, so is school.
I feel terrible for her. My heart has literally hurt for her and this situation. Her business is likely ruined. Her son is clearly unstable and needs help. Her love for these kids and the abrupt end of her long career is heartbreaking. I am so grateful for the safety of those kids and how it all turned out okay. As I was talking on the phone to Adele about all this, she said something that really struck me, “It’s as if you have this umbrella of protection over your house and family, where bad things are happening so close to home, but you keep getting spared.” That is exactly how it is, and I am so humbled and grateful. I can't even express how I feel about avoiding some truly tragic things that have happened right beside us. I am thankful for these blessings of protection, and thankful that my children are safe. Thank heaven for that umbrella.
Ugly Day
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