what christmas looked like

Just our family of five this year.  It was a sweet little Christmas.

Christmas Eve presents

 Grinch stuffed animals.  Ellery, totally excited.  McKay may have been expecting something more exciting.

Christmas Program

Growing up, we would always put on a Christmas program for my parents on Christmas Eve.  So my kids did one for us.  We were graced with a lovely dance from Ellery and a song from McKay.  And here they are right in the middle of a "gloria" in Angels We Have Heard on High.  Very serious stuff.  They are a little young for this program stuff, but we still enjoyed the entertainment.  Also, Ellery dressed herself.

Nativity

A Christmas miracle, Layla didn't cry while in the manger.  Joseph didn't notice the flowers on his costume and Mary smothered the baby, like always.  (Not pictured:  Me as the donkey)

Christmas Books

I decided to start collecting Christmas books this year.  So far we have two, and we read them both.

The Movie

It's a Matthews tradition to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas on Christmas Eve.  We carried on here in Oregon.

Christmas Morning

Santa definitely didn't spoil Laysie on her first Christmas.  She didn't mind at all.

 McKay lucked out with a Rasor that he didn't even know he wanted.  

Ellery was happy with her stocking presents alone.  It was a struggle to get her to keep opening things and every thing she picked out of her sock got shown to dad immediately.  Everything.  Even her orange.

We did get her to open the rest of her gifts, but only after a round (or three) of hugs for the whole family with a "merry Christmas" wish to each of us.  

For sure my favorite gift.    

McKay's was Toy Story Legos.

Brian's favorite was what we got from Ken and Missy.  I was totally lame in the gift department this year, so I'm glad Ken and Missy got us something that he really loves.

 Finally a place to put my baby who loves to stand!  No jumping yet. . .it's more of a hang. . .in the bathroom doorway.

Christmas is so fun when you get to share it with kids.  Ellery is hidden behind the pile of princesses she received.  She was SO easy to shop for this year.  

 And just 'cause she's cute.

The rest of our day was spent watching McKay ride his scooter and shoot off his new air rockets and playing princesses with you know who.  We spent the evening at a friend's for Christmas dinner, which was fun, and Brian and I finished the night off with Rocky II.  

Although I missed being around family, I'm glad that I have my own little family to take care of on Christmas.  We had fun.  

from us to you

Merry, merry Christmas!

*****

thoughts on a sunday

Mary riding to Bethlehem

• This week has been long.  Brian now "works" four ten hour days a week but with transportation/traffic included they are more like twelve hours days.  He has been working really hard, but is enjoying his new location, which is a huge relief.  It's not fun that the kids only get to see him for just over an hour on those days.  

• We had meatballs for dinner this week.  I looked over at Ellery.  She had Ariel's dinglehopper (fork) and was trying to eat her meatball with it.  Ariel is three inches tall.  Her fork smaller than a push pin.

• How old is too old to buy your boy character underwear?  Just wondering.

• We went to our ward Christmas party last night.  It's kind of sad at how excited I was for our ward Christmas party.  But, you see, we haven't been to a party yet, so it's all we've got.  And actually, it was fun.  The theme was a German Christmas, and there was lots of delicious German food.  And my kids had a blast!

• Ellery's nursery class did a little nativity play for the parents today.  She was Mary.  Did you know that Mary held Ariel and a blonde barbie while in the stable?  She was adorable and so proud.  At the end she was still wearing her costume and she came up to me and said, "Mom, it's me, Ellery!" So cute.

• That little girl only has one Sunday left in nursery.  She'll be a little Sunbeam.  I can't believe it.  I really can't.  My little baby girl is not a baby anymore. . .at all.  It's a good thing I have another one.

• Layla is this close to rolling over.  She can't quite get her arm out from underneath her tummy.  She's also grabbing at everything.  She's been doing that for awhile, but now she's starting to put everything she grabs in her mouth.  I hope she isn't too anxious to eat real food because I'm sure not anxious.  

• McKay had quite a scare at Costco the other day.  He spotted a seagull when we were looking for a parking spot.  Then, just as we were getting out of the car, he looked asked me, "Mom, is my hair brown?  Is my hair the color of a nest?"  Thinking he wanted his hair to be the color of a nest, I said yes.  A wave of panic came over his face.  "I don't want a seagull to think my hair is a nest!"  I then backtracked a bit- "No, you're hair is kinda blonde, it's not brown like a nest.  Don't worry."  Lucky boy, no seagulls sat on his head.  As I was loading the girls back into the car and he was standing in the cart waiting for me to help him out I saw a blur of white swoop down behind the car out of the corner of my eye.  Then I hear a little whimper and in seconds McKay is diving into the car with complete terror in his eyes.  Yep, a seagull.  I couldn't believe it.  He was extremely shaken up.  Poor boy.

• It seems that he's going through another scared phase.  Besides seagulls, some scene with a bear and lots of garbage from Toy Story 3 is keeping him up at night- I don't know, I haven't seen it.  Anyway, he's really nervous to sleep at night because he had a nightmare about this specific scene.  Also his primary teacher told him today that earthquakes and tornadoes and fires will happen before Jesus comes.  Thank you.  It was a difficult bedtime.

• Not to drag on and on about McKay being scared, but I just have to tell you a sweet little story.  So the first night after the nightmare he called me into his room because he was scared.  I asked him if he said a prayer.  He looked at me with those huge, innocent, terrified blue eyes and said, "I already said my personal prayers."  This struck me.  I asked him if he always said his personal prayers.  "Yeah, but I still feel scared."  You see, there was a time when I would help/encourage them to say their own prayers.  Months ago.  Months and months ago.  I haven't been very good about doing that lately.  So to hear that he still says them every night by himself makes me proud, humbled and just want to cry.  It makes me think of how strong these little children are.  I'm happy to know that even if I'm not perfect in the ways that I teach them, they are inherently strong enough to make up the difference.  

• If you saw me you might think I look like a bag of caramel popcorn. . .or a cookie. . .or maybe a hershey's kiss.  You are what you eat.

• So speaking of what I've been eating, to balance out all the treats, I've started doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred everyday.  (Really I'm doing this because I was fatter when I came home from Utah than I was when I got there).  Anyway, the kids usually do it with me and I just never want to forget my five year old boy in skin tight blue pajamas doing the most awkward, adorable jumping jacks my eyes have ever seen.  So precious.  They both grab spoons for weights and lay their blankets out beside my mat and we go to it.  They're totally getting into this whole exercising thing because while I was in line at Nordstrom there they were, doing hip circles into the mirror.  

• Christmas is in less than a week.  Ellery loves Santa.  McKay wants a bb gun.  They are so excited.  We are sad we won't be in Utah with family this week, but are still looking forward to our quiet little Christmas- the first one on our own.  I think it will be great.

Happy Sunday to you!

so blessed

We were able to bless Layla while we were in Utah for Thanksgiving. 

As expected, she cried through the entire thing.  

But Brian was still able to give her a lovely blessing.

I haven't told you, but lovely has become one of my favorite adjectives.  Really.

And you can't get much more lovely than this dress.  Brian's mom made it.  She just made it, no big deal.  I just told her I wanted simple and may have used the word 'pioneer' when telling her what I liked, but she did the rest.  Look at the back! 

 Don't you love the white and cream together?  It is perfect and now it looks so lovely hanging in Layla's room and I love looking at it every day.

Getting a good shot of a family of five is really hard.  But even without a perfect photo, I sure love these guys.  A lot.  

Almost all our family members were able to be there (we missed you Botts).  

 And that meant a lot to us.

Another thing that meant a lot to us is that my parents basically threw Layla a blessing party. . .you know, like you throw someone a shower.  Meaning, my mom did everything and I did nothing.  She had such a cute display of flowers and pictures of Layla and delicious desserts and everything looked very lovely.

But seriously, is there anything more lovely than this girl?

*photos courtesy of Mark, my favorite new photographer

a tuba christmas

Like true Oregonians we braved the rain last Saturday and went down to Pioneer Square in Portland to be a part of a Tuba Christmas.

This is an event where hundreds of tuba players gather in the heart of the city and play Christmas carols.  Don't be jealous.

It was fun!  Tubas are really big and tuba players are really passionate about tuba Christmas.  McKay was totally into it and we loved watching the tuba players turn their instruments upside down to empty out all the rain water.  Ellery didn't love it as much because she was cold, and soon after we got there her Daddy took her to get hot chocolate at Starbucks.  They were waiting in there for nearly the whole concert, which was probably best.  But they returned with Salted Caramel hot chocolate and let me tell you, it was SO good.  Get some.

After warming up with our hot chocolate we headed to the mall.  The kids loved looking at all the impressive Christmas decorations and throwing pennies in the fountain.  We then noticed that there was no line to see Santa!  On a Saturday?!  They hopped right on his lap and McKay couldn't decide what to tell him.  Ellery was absolutely positive that she wanted new princesses and wasn't shy about telling him so.  

Layla even stepped in for a photo.  Santa looks drunk.

Can I tell you a funny story about this situation?  Before we left I told Brian I wanted to do the kids hair and put McKay in cuter clothes (Brian got him dressed) in case we saw Santa- for the picture.  He assured me that the line would be too long and talked me out of changing them into more photo-with-santa appropriate clothing.  Who's totally bugged?  ME!

Okay, moving on. . .

We did a little tiny bit of shopping and then noticed snow up ahead.  The mall had snow foam bubbles falling down from the upper level.  The kids loved it.  

We had such a great day!  I was proud of us for actually doing something downtown on a Saturday.  I love it down there and I wish we went more often.  It's so close and there's so much to do and see.  I told Brian on the way home that we are going to start taking advantage of living next to such a cool city.  We love it.

a girls trip

My sweet mom planned a little girls trip while I was visiting.  

Layla was the lucky one who got to join us.  We carted her all over Salt Lake City. . .not really, but it felt like it.  She did lots of shopping though, and she was a little angel the whole time.  

We stayed at Little America.  My Nonnie and Poppop took Jana and I there when we were little and it reminded me of them.  This photo shoot also reminded me of that too, since Nonnie was always one to take a  good photo shoot!

We laughed SO hard taking these  pictures.  I was trying my best to look skinny.  I really wanted to put the one where Krista and I are trying to hide our neck fat with our hands, because that was the funniest one, but we'd be embarrassed.  

But I'm not too embarrassed to put this one up!

Krista is known for having an incredibly small mouth.  Like really small.  Her dentist says it's one of the top five smallest he's ever seen.  I wish I was hiding my neck fat here.

I had always wanted to eat at the Little America's breakfast buffet.  It was pretty delicious and we were full until way past lunch.  

We did some shopping at Gateway. . .lost a bag. . .bought matching shirts. . .just kidding. . .actually I'm not. . .and then headed over to Gardiner Village.  

I had never been there before and I've always wanted to go.  It was cold and raining, so we didn't go to every shop, but we ate a yummy dinner there.  Lisa spilled her rice pudding all over herself.

But that didn't stop us.  We still made it to a few shops after dinner.  I loved the Christmas one.  We all got a few ornaments and my mom treated us to a cute little Christmas book to read to our little ones.  

I sure had fun with these girls.  I am so lucky to have three sisters.  They are just the best.  And my mom who treated us to everything on this fun little girls trip-  she is so sweet and thoughtful and I just love her!

oh.

and there's one more thing.

I didn't tell you about Camilla.

To keep it brief, in our family we joke that Lisa is the queen and I am the princess.  The queen and the princess tend to have a lot of pull within the family.  The princess is much kinder than the queen.  The queen usually gets what she wants.  Anyway, this topic came up early on our little trip and it made us wonder who Jana was in our royal family.  I suggested Kate Middleton, because a kind princess would suggest someone so lovely, but the queen quickly overruled that Kate didn't fit and dubbed Jana Camilla. . .who is Prince Charles wife.  She isn't very lovely.

We called Jana Camilla the whole time and maybe you don't know this, but the royal family makes Camilla drive everywhere.  Even in snow storms.  And they just jump in the car and assume that Camilla will take them where they need to go.  

And Camilla does it!  She hates it, but she dose it.  We couldn't live without Camilla.  I love her.

thoughts on a sunday

Miss Layla sits by the Christmas tree watching the train go round and round for long periods of time.  It's probably her favorite thing to watch. . .aside from me doing jumping jacks.  More on that later. . .

• It's been five weeks since we've all been to church together.  I was so looking forward to going today but then during family movie Ellery threw up. . .and threw up every fifteen minutes for two hours.  I was really mad because that meant she had to stay home and that we probably wouldn't go to the Christmas musical fireside tonight.  Ugh.

• I'm really hoping that no one else gets it, but especially Brian.  He really can't afford to get the stomach flu.

• I think Layla wanted in on some of the action, because during dinner she stuffed her hand in her mouth so far that she gagged herself, and threw up all over the floor.  Over and over and over.  

• All this sickness talk reminds me of two things.  First the spot on my back.  I've had a pain on my lower right shoulder blade since September.  At first I thought it was related to all the other stuff, but now I think it's my gall bladder.  The pain comes and goes at random. . .or so I thought. . .and can be very uncomfortable when it's there.  After Friday's dinner of cheese pizza with ranch and See's chocolates for dessert (what?) it hurt really bad- enough for me to do some research.  So that's what I think it is.  Now I'm just going to be extra aware of when it hurts and see if it relates to what I'm eating.  We'll see...

• And that brings me to my other health update.  I've had several people ask if there's any news regarding the MS. . .um. . .the MS scare?  What do I call it?  Anyway, I have had absolutely no symptoms since those first few weeks and I feel really good.  I will have another MRI in February or March to see if there's anything new going on and that's really all there is to report.  I still feel so grateful for the outcome.  It was a horrible, scary, sacred, life-changing thing to go through and although I don't want to repeat it, I'm grateful that it all happened.  And, if at any time I find that I do have MS, I will be completely devastated, but I also feel a lot more prepared to handle that trial if that's what's in store for me.  

• Okay, lets stop being so serious.  How about how the seniors of OHSU's nursing anesthesia program graduated this week?  THIS WEEK!  That means that this time next year we will be attending a graduation ceremony and Brian will be able to start living again!  What I love about this is that every day is part of the countdown.

• McKay and Ellery were talking about Layla and Ellery mentioned that Layla was scared.  McKay said, matter-of-factly, "No, Layla's not afraid of anything. . .even a cheetah!"

• Another funny thing is that they think the gibberish lyrics at the end of the Beatles song  Hello, Goodbye says, "Layla.  Layla, not Lola."  I love that.

• We went to OMSI (science museum) this week and had so much fun.  It had been awhile since McKay had seen the earthquake house and I forgot to prep him about it beforehand.  Needless to say, all the sudden at bedtime he became completely terrified of earthquakes.  At least he didn't have any nightmares.

• We brought McKay's friend Matthew along with us to OMSI.  His mom is our relief society president and I've really never met anyone else like her.  She is an angel.  She is so kind, thoughtful, friendly, and funny and she has the ability to make you feel so good when she talks to you.  I am so lucky that I have gotten to know her and she'll be someone I'll never forget.  Okay, enough with the love letter, I know.  Anyway, so we dropped Matthew off and she greeted me at her door with a box of See's chocolates.   Last time I had Matthew over to play she picked him up with dinner in her arms and left it on our table.  I don't even know what else to say about that.  

• So Brian's had a week off, which has been SO nice.  I have loved just being home all together without all the stress.  Brian's decided that now that he's just doing clinicals and not classes, he can start getting serious about running again.  And this week he got pretty serious.  I'm happy that he'll be able to devote a little more time to running.  He needs it in his life.  It makes him happy.

• Ellery's picked up a bad habit.  Every time we put her in a time out with the door shut she pees her pants.  Well, actually she yells, "I HAVE TO GO POTTY!" with fake urgency and if we don't open the door immediately she gets right to it.  This week she lost her nightgowns for two days because of it.  Trying to break this little habit of hers, but she's a stubborn girl and if she thinks she can shorten her time out she's gonna pee.      

• I went downtown with a friend to the new H&M.  I drove.  It was dark and it was rainy and I drove.  Proud.  And also, I was not as impressed with H&M as I have been in the past, although the kids section was fun.

• Brian also got a pass to the Nike employee store this week, so we went on Thursday.  This is apparently a big deal because you have to show id and have a special pass to enter.  Again, I was a little disappointed because of the hype I had heard about the store.  Even with everything being 50% off it was still too much for me.  I wonder, when we actually have money coming in will I still be this cheap?  Will I still only shop on the clearance racks?  It's been too long to know for sure.  

• Guess what?  Layla and Brian are turning a corner!  I think they're friends!  I think she finally loves her daddy.  This is great news.

• Ellery for sure loves her daddy.  They have a special little thing going on.  Whenever I tell her I love her she says, "Uh huh, and daddy loves me."  She has a way with him that even when she's being naughty he thinks she cute and he will just laugh at her.  They are a cute little pair.

• My friend was asking me about Brian the other day.  Asking about his personality and stuff.  She then said, "I feel like he's so quiet and that he's like a bishop or something. . .like I desperately need his approval and I'm just trying to get him to like me."  This made me laugh.  Then it made me remember how I thought he was stuck up when I first met him.  For awhile.  And how a lot of people have thought that.  And then it made me think that he's all mysterious.  And even though I sometimes hate that he's quiet, having him be mysterious was kind of fun.  So now that's what he is.  Not quiet.  Mysterious.

Happy Sunday!

bald but still beautiful

When Ellery was a baby she hardly went a day without wearing a headband.  I am hard pressed to find a 

picture of her without a flower sprouting off of her head.  I became a nylon-headband manufacturer at the rate I was making them for my little baby girl.  Look, I even put one on her while wearing her Christmas pajamas.  Pajamas!?  Sad.  I find myself wishing that I had more pictures of Ellery that were just her.  No bows and flowers and nylon attached.  

And lets not even get started on the jeans.  Why I stuffed my sweet little Ellie-girl into those jeans, I'll never know.

*****

Layla.

Layla hasn't worn a headband yet. . .well, except for a half an hour when she was blessed and for her newborn pictures.  Okay, so she's worn them. . .but only twice!  Layla's mother didn't make a single flower for her to sport.  I haven't even touched a nylon all year.  I suppose I would put a headband on her if we were doing something fancy.  But when are we ever doing something fancy?  Never.  We are never doing something fancy.  

I'm not opposed to it.  In fact, I bought her a couple the other day.  But for some reason it just isn't that important to me this time.  I don't need her to look "put together" all the time.  She's already perfect just the way she is.  

And those jeans?  Those jeans are still neatly folded in Layla's drawer.  Untouched as of yet.

Poor Elle. . .Or poor Layla. I'm not really sure.

thoughts on a sunday

The Sick Sunday Band serenaded me with Christmas songs while I laid in bed today.  That blue thing is NOT a recorder- it's a clarinet!  I won't make that mistake twice.  As always, Ellery does pretty much anything with Ariel in her hand. . .including play the clarinet.

• We're back home after spending almost three weeks in Utah.  It was probably my best trip yet and I was excited to introduce everyone to little Layla.  

• I was so nervous to fly to Utah alone with the three kids, but the flight there was AMAZING.  The plane was almost empty and we had rows and rows of empty seats around us.  Layla slept the whole time and it was a quick flight.  The flight home, with Brian, was another story.  Waiting in airport.  Packed plane.  Tired, hungry kids.  Two delays.  Stop in Reno.  Rude male flight attendant.  Nice captain.  Behind schedule.  Holding Layla the whole time.  Granola bars for dinner. Nine pieces of "luggage".  On the bus.  Off the bus.  Stress.  Carseats loaded back in the car.  And finally home at ten thirty p.m.  

• The captain was pretty much obsessed with Ellery and she was chatting him up like I've never seen. They were best friends.  He kept calling her a cutie patootie, which she thought was just wonderful.  

• I am so glad we got to fly home- it was wonderful.  But it seems like whenever we fly someone (or all of us) comes down with something.  Ellery seemed fine all day- even on the plane- and then we walk in the door of our house and she suddenly has this horrible, barky cough.  I thought she might die during the night.  Now we're all sick. . even Layla.  She has a horrible barky, raspy cough and cry and I am so worried about her because she's so little.  Hopefully it will go away in a day like Ellery's yucky cough did.  

• That means we all stayed home from church today.  I hate that.  

• McKay said to me the other day, "I wish I was Santa.  No!  I wish I was Jesus!  Jesus has a lot of powers."  Um, yeah.  He does, but. . . 

• The other day I was driving in the car with my kids and one of my cub scouts.  You have to know this kid- he is the best- very enthusiastic about everything.  He's so cute with my kids and him and Ellery are BFF when I go visiting teaching over at his house.  Anyway, the conversation turned to babies. . .probably because of Layla.  Steven said that he was going to be a dad someday and he told Ellery and McKay that they would be parents one day too.  He then said, "You know Ellery- birth can be painful."  I was dying.  It still makes me smile.

• This week I have been making Ellery go to the bathroom ALL by herself.  My sweet, yet stubborn daughter got used to me assisting her completely while going to the bathroom.  Trying to break that habit. . .because I know she can do it herself.  She is not thrilled.

• Layla is most definitely a mommy's girl.  And I keep forgetting to say that she's not mean anymore.  I told you all she was mean, and everyone who met her expected her to be mean.  But she's sweet now. . .except to one person.  Her and Brian still struggle.  

• Speaking of my poor husband he just finished his last clinical at OHSU.  Now on to Kaiser Interstate.  He had a pretty crazy week once we got home and was pretty much going non stop for three days.  Non stop!  He was so exhausted at the end of each day that he fell asleep several hours before me.  

• I'm happy to report that aside from one online final, he has a whole week off before he starts his next clinical rotation at a different hospital and no more class work. . .ever!  I'm hoping that the stress will ease up a little bit now that classes are over.  

• Even if it doesn't ease up, I am confidant that I am being taken care of.  I feel an increased strength. . .most days. . .and feel like I've been blessed with the ability to take on more.  Grateful for that.

• All of the sudden I now like wearing pajamas to bed.  Brian is confused.

• Tonight Ellery is wearing gloves to bed.  Her fingers were "squishy" which is apparently quite uncomfortable. . .painful even!  And as a result she had to bite her fingers. . .which resulted in more pain and uncontrollable whining and tears.  But gloves are the magic remedy for squishy fingers.  Who knew?!

• Our Christmas tree is up!  We didn't put one up last year because we were in Utah for Christmas, so it was fun to get it all decorated.  McKay and Ellery are having a blast playing with the train and looking at all the ornaments. 

Happy Sunday!