thoughts on a sunday

• Ah, blogging!  I am hanging on here, so I guess once a month is kinda how it goes now.  Really don't feel like doing this now, but I just gave myself 15 minutes and then I can stop.

• Sometimes I feel bad that finding the time or inspiration to write things down doesn't come as easily to me anymore.  It has been a chore for quite some time now, when it used to always be mostly fun.  That saddens me because I should be able to do this better.  But when your heart isn't in something, its hard to make it great.  I know my writing-when I actually do it- has suffered.  

• Okay, enough about that.  Lets get to it.  You know how kids will change the way they say yes or no?  Like how suddenly a toddler will start saying "Yes" all proper when before they would say "uh huh"?  Well, I love how Layla has started saying "Ummm, yes" or "ummm, no."  That's all.  I just love it.

• I've been asking her a lot of yes or no questions lately.  "Layla, do you have to go potty?"  On Monday we had the famous or infamous, depending who you are, Potty Day.  Brian was off for President's Day and took the kids up to the land with the family.  I knew Layes and I wouldn't have another opportunity to have a whole day to ourselves for who knows how long, so I decided it had to be done Monday.  We got a later start than I wanted- we had to go to the store to pick out potty treats and undies.  

• She did great.  By far my easiest, and I've been telling everyone that after Ellery, I deserve easy.  Ellery took FOREVER to train.  Like years.  So this was a nice follow-up to her experience.  We're still not finished yet and accidents still happen, but she caught on really quickly.  Yay Laysie!

• It's funny, we call them undies around here, but I think some people have been admiring her big girl "panties" because she's been throwing that term out here and there and correcting me from time to time.  "Not undies, they're panties."  

• Also, today at church I took her to the little potty in nursery.  She was completely enamored with the little potty, the little sink, the fact that they had toilet paper and paper towels.  She just thought it was all so great that there were these things in her nursery.  That's why I wasn't surprised at all when I picked her up and they told me that she was in that little potty three times.  She's kind of obsessed, I think.

• Part of me is a little bit sad to have her in undies.  It means she's growing up.  She's not a baby.  It's only a matter of time before she gets a big girl bed, sippy cups are rarely used around here anymore.  She's big.  My baby.

• McKay lost another tooth over the weekend.  He told me it was loose in the afternoon, and by the time we got home that night (late) it was out.  

• McKay has taken on the role of Layla's peacemaker.  If she's upset he will say anything to make her feel better.  Lies.  Impossible promises.  He'll say he has candy, or that she can go swimming or who knows what else he comes up with to get that baby to stop crying.  It's actually really sweet.  He is quite protective of her.  If she gets in trouble or gets put in a time out, he is literally squirming around with discomfort and/or crying along with her.  He's a sweet brother like that.  He does it with Ellery sometimes too.  He and Layla have this little thing going on right now though.  

• My cousin, Amanda, was here this weekend.  We went to a movie, went sledding and down to Riverwoods.  It was an exhausting weekend, but we had fun.  The kids were in heaven over all the cousin time.

• Today Brian was on call all day, so it was just me and the kids at home.  I thought it would be a really long day, but it was actually quite nice.  We watched family movie, did McKay's alien autopsy thing, and had a nice dinner.  Then I asked everyone if they wanted a bath.  Only Layla agreed to that.  Then I asked everyone if they wanted a bath in my tub wearing their swimsuits.  Everyone was excited for that.  They splashed a lot and were crazy, but they had fun.  After that McKay remembered an old memory of making shadow animals with a flashlight, back in our condo when he was little and really wanted to recreate that memory.  We did.  And finally, in bed by 7:15, which hasn't happened in the last four nights.  

• It's no secret that I am not a gourmet cook.  I struggle with cooking with ease.  But I want to give cooking up altogether because lately it seems like everyone hates what I make.  I cannot stand to prepare food that my kids won't even try.  It's driving me crazy right now and I have been on a pretty bad streak the last couple weeks.  The only reason I am not completely devastated is because Brian has eaten everything I've made- happily I think.  

• Although, tonight I made homemade black refried beans and to my astonishment, Mack ate them right up.  Loved them even.  

• Then there's Ellery.  She is completely obsessed with cucumbers.  I buy the mini ones for her and Layla.  Layla likes them, but Ellery devours them.  We had been out of them for a week or so and both the girls asked for them several times for a snack.  I've never been hungry for a snack and thought, "You know, a cucumber would really hit the spot right now."  Never.  This week I bought two regular ones because they were out of mini's, and they were gone within two days.  She just chomps them right up.  

• This reminds me of McKay.  He is to a point where he would rather eat home lunch.  I am still feeling the school lunch for now, but occasionally I will make him a lunch, especially on Tuesdays.  Tuesday is pizza day and the pizza that was once his favorite on the school lunch menu, is now completely disgusting.  These things change fast, you have to keep up.  So sometimes on Tuesdays I give in to the poor boy.  Anyway, the other day I packed him a lunch and we didn't have much.  I packed cheese, pepperonis, wheat thins (to make mini sandwiches), carrots, a granola bar, two large gummy bears for a treat and the only thing I had in the house to give him to drink was one of those squeeze-it drinks left over from Potty Day.  I would NEVER have those in my  house normally, and I would NEVER send them in a lunch to school.  But I did.  Well, I told him that there were some treats in his lunch, but he had to eat his healthy stuff before he ate the treats.  He promised he would and ran off to school.  That night, when I was getting his homework folder out, I noticed his lunch bag was in his backpack.  Took it out and what do you know, everything was there except the drink and the gummy bears.  His reason:  I didn't have time to eat it all.  Nice.

• "That's not my talent.  Playing with friends is not my talent.  Staying at home and coloring is." quote from Ellery Jane

• Okay, fifteen minutes is up.  That's it for now.  Pictures probably to come later....

Happy Sunday.

my sweet ellery,

Today I took you to the ballet.  

McKay gets to go on lots of dates with dad,

 and a special night with mom was WAY past due for you.

You had been waiting for weeks for it to finally be time.

You had to wait even longer when we accidentally had tickets to the night show instead of the matinee.  

At first you were content just to sit quietly on the way up, 

asking to listen the Muppets cd.

Then, when it was getting dark, you started talking.  

I think the excitement of being out late, at night, woke you up.

You wore your fanciest dress, and as you were getting ready

McKay helped you put on every piece of jewelry you own.

You looked beautiful, and very fancy.

When we got to the capital theatre you were mesmerized by it's beauty.

I saw that special twinkle in your eyes as you looked up and studied the beautiful chandeliers.    

We stopped at the refreshment counter and I let you pick out a treat.

Gummy bears.

From the time we walked into the theatre to the time we found our seats

you counted how many people commented on your pretty dress.  Five.

We found our seats and pretty soon the show started.  

You kept looking over at me with those shiny eyes

I could tell that you felt so grown up, so important.

And that's just what I wanted you to feel.

Cinderella was beautiful, the tutus were exciting

the step sisters were especially funny because they were boys

and during intermission you showed me your own ballet moves.

On the way up we talked about what manners to use at a ballet.

You remembered all of them, including clapping during appropriate times.

There was, however, a lot of clapping.

After awhile, we found our own way of clapping using one of my hands, and one of yours.

You really liked that and that's how we clapped the rest of the evening.

After the show was over, we made our way through the crowds to the elevator

where you almost got smushed because you were the only small person in there.

Within two minutes of driving on the freeway, you were fast asleep.

I loved my night at the ballet with you.

I hope you will always remember it.

I hope you will always remember how special you felt.

How special you are.

I sure love being your mom.

we went to see george

We took a little family vacation to St. George for our warm weather trip.  We had so much fun visiting the temple grounds and visitor's center, swimming in the cold hotel pool, going out to eat, celebrating Valentine's day all together, spending a day hiking and driving in Zion's and playing in the red rock park.  It was a fun trip.  I love traveling with just our little family. 

 

We had fun at the temple- both on the grounds and in the visitor's center.  The kids were way excited to see and touch and hug palm trees, and loved running around on the grass.  We looked at the beautiful temple where Grandma and Granddad had been married, and remembered the time that Brian and I had visited those grounds ten years earlier on our honeymoon.  In the visitors center they gave the kids Mica (I don't know how to spell that), which is what is used to make the St. George temple so white.  By the time we left St. George I'm pretty sure all three stones were lost.  

It was Valentine's Day while we were down there and so I made sure to bring a little something for my kids.  Brian and I didn't do anything for each other...except he bought me a box of See's chocolates, which is one of my favorite things.  I shared with everyone.  The kids were expecially excited about these chocolate dogs because I gave them to them on V-day in Oregon and they always remembered them.  I could only find two at the store, so Layla's didn't have a doghouse, but she didn't care.  

One of our favorite activities was visiting the red rock park.  It's kind of sad that I can't remember any of the details, but I am writing this way after it happened.  I can't remember the name of this park, but it is right on the hill of the city.  It was so fun climbing and exploring the rocks, crevices and caves.  We could have spent even more time here- the kids loved it.

We spent a day in  Zion's, which was really fun.  I am always amazed at all Southern Utah has to offer that I haven't even seen before.  We went to Weeping Rock, hiked to the start of the Narrow's trail and drove through the heart of the mountain through tunnels with amazing views.  

One of the highlights of our time in Zion's was the rock shop.  I loved these places when I was a kid, and they remind me of my Nonnie- probably always will.  She was always one for a special rock or stone, so this store would have been right up her alley.  The kids were mesmerized by the rocks and gems as well, and I insisted that we let them pick something out as a souvenir.  This was a very difficult task for McKay and Ellery.  It took them probably an hour, especially McKay.  Ellery chose a purple crystal rock which I can't remember the name of and was IN LOVE with it.  Still is.  I talked Layla into choosing a worry stone- another thing that reminds me of Nonnie.  I got one too.  Layla's is pink and mine is a really cool orange- the color of the red rocks.  McKay stewed and stewed, like he does, and finally decided on a little monkey/troll man with a staff.  It's tiny and I hope he doesn't lose it, but he was happy with his choice after a lot of stress.

Fun trip.  Love our warm weather trip tradition.  I can't wait to explore more things with my little crew.

the best friend

Now that I live in Utah, it's not quite as hard for me and my three best friends from elementary/high school/college to get together.  With Katie living in Newfoundland, Canada, it still isn't easy, but now that three of us live here in Utah and with Katie coming to visit family for Christmas, it happened!  

I love these girlfriends of mine so much and I'm so glad that even though we don't see each other often, I still get to call them best friends, because some things never change.  

We decided it would be fun to get our whole families together this time.  We had dinner and dessert and just visited while the kids ran around.  It has been a really long time since all us girls, our kids and our husbands have been together- and although we were missing Mark- it was really fun.  

I really love when our kids get together and play.  My kids love it and I'm so glad that we're fostering the next generation of friendships.  I love to think that they will have memories of playing together when they were little.

Gray, Carter, Brady, Jude, Nash, Ellery, Layla, Halle and McKay in the back.

Love these kids.

Along with Layla, these are the only girls.  Halle is so sweet to Ellery, even though she is much older.  We took this picture because they had matching coats.  

Hopefully we will be able to have many more pictures like these to come over the years!

thoughts on a sunday- marathon!

A million pictures today...

• We put Layla's hair in a high pony and she couldn't stop looking at herself in the mirror.  When she sports this hairdo, we call her Nadine, which is a character from Arthur who has a pony tail right atop her head like this and it makes us all happy to have a little Nadine walking around the house.  

• We went to visit the giant snowman in Orem.  It was pretty remarkable and just huge.  We were all impressed.

• Layla came home from nursery singing "Once upon a snowman..." and that is just adorable.

• We tackled another project in our house a couple weeks ago.  We call it our ancestor wall, because, well, it has pictures of our ancestors.  So I guess we've been using that word more frequently than usual.  After someone mentioned the ancestor wall Ellery turned to me and said, "What about an-brothers?"

• The other day McKay and Ellery had done something to make me upset (not listening continually  probably) and I was clearly angry.  I was upstairs for awhile and when I came down, they led me into the front room and sat me down on the couch.  Ellery sang a made up aplogy to me, and then McKay sat down on the piano.  He played Away In A Manger but made up his own words to the tune, "I'm sorry dear mother, you are the best mom..."  How could I stay mad? I love those naughty kids.

• The girls playing mermaids in the kitchen.  I love that my girls have each other.  They play so well together and I hope that continues forever.  I want them to always be close and always enjoy each other.  

• The kids, especially McKay, have been super into Kid History lately.  It's cute to see them think they are so funny and I love hearing Mack quote lines from them.  It's even cuter to hear Layla suddenly break out in, "Kyle!  Kyle!  Kyyyy-le!"   

•  Look at this kid.  His tooth is gigantic.  Thankfully, the other one is on it's way down now, but it's been a long wait.  The sweet thing about him is that he knows how awkward teeth look on kids in this stage of...um...teeth growing.  He comments on his own from time to time, and many other people do too.  It's hard to ignore that chomper!

• All winter I've been asking McKay if I could cut his hair.  He's deflected by saying if he cut it, he would be cold.  The other day at Grandma's it came out what was really going on.  He told her he wanted to grow it out into a bowl cut.  Oh my!  Brian told him bowl cuts were kind of old fashioned, so now he's open to cutting it.  But now all I can think about is how cold his head is going to be.

• McKay came home from school and told me about a little dispute he had on the playground.  What happened was while playing chase, Kylee pushed him down and she said it was an accident but it wasn't and he and his friends all knew it wasn't and his socks got all wet.  They all went to talk to the recess guard and after hearing this whole story from McKay he ended with, "But mom, I won the talk.  I won it."  I guess that means that the guard sided with McKay.  Victory.

• Brian took McKay skiing a couple weeks ago.  It was the coldest day of winter- twelve below!  I was so worried they would be frozen to the mountain, but they had a blast.  Brian came home and told me how much he enjoyed being with McKay all day.  And it really was all day- they left at nine and didn't come home until five!  

• McKay took a half day ski lesson.  His instructor was named Jeremy.  He must have done a good job, because when Brian went down the mountain with him for the first time, he was shocked at what McKay could do.  He was flying down the mountain and Brian actually had to try to keep up with him.  McKay loved it and can't wait to go again.  Ellery was super jealous.  Brian told her she could go next year and she hasn't forgotten about that.  Whenever skiing comes up, she reminds us all that she gets to go next year.

• Mack also joined the Lego club at school.  The first day was super boring because all they did was sort Legos.  But the second class was a success and he's totally into Lego club!

• This boy is also reading chapter books.  He's read several of the Magic Treehouse series books so far all by himself.  I was absolutely shocked when one day he told me he had read one of those.  He loves reading, probably mostly because he gets to put off bedtime to do it, and he's improving all the time.  Proud of him.

• One morning Ellery and I decided that she needed a haircut right away.  I cut five inches off and she felt like the most beautiful thing in the world.  She kept looking in the mirror and telling everyone she saw.  Her hair was so long and I always know it's time for a cut when it won't stay untangled for more than five minutes after brushing it out.  She looks cute.

• She learned all about Martin Luther King Day at school.  She even learned a song and sang it often.  At dinner on MLK Day I asked her what it was all about.  She said, "He had a dream that little black girls and little white girls and little peach girls would all hold hands together."  When I asked what color of girl she is, she said, "I'm a peach girl.  But Miss Melva said there really are white girls.  Like for reals."  

• So yeah, I was feeling all proud of my color-blind peach girl who knew so much about Mr. King's dream, but that all came to a sudden halt when she told Uncle Alex that she didn't want to kiss baby Wayne's doll because he had black skin.  It just went downhill from there.  I guess it should be a constant conversation...

• We had Alyssa and Ashlyn over for a fancy tea party one Saturday night.  The girls got all dressed up and we talked like fancy British ladies and it was really fun.  We love living close to all our fabulous cousins!

• Ellery has been into snuggling lately, especially at church.  She fits right on my lap and fits like a puzzle piece against me.  This makes me happy and I remember doing this with my own mom at church.  I got sad though, when I imagined a day when my kids were too old to snuggle.  How tragic!  I don't like to think about it and I asked them if they would still snuggle me when they were teenagers.  Everyone agreed, but we'll see.

• I took Ellery to the bathroom during Sacrament meeting today.  She had a note, folded tightly, in her hand and asked me if I wanted to read it.  The note: "Dear Jesus.  Please bless that church will be short.  Ellery".  Amen!

• One last thing about this girl, because I don't think I've noted this lately- Ellery is absolutely our best sleeper.  She rarely comes out of her room after being tucked in, she sleeps in unless Layla wakes her up and she hardly ever complains about going to bed.  I am so glad that I have at leasat one easy sleeper, because McKay stalls and thinks of any reason to come out at night, and Layla is a maniac since her souci's been gone.  So I'm grateful for Elle. 

• So speaking of my little maniac, just look at her.  She is wild.  There's a lot to report about this one.  As I snapped this pic and asked her what she was up to, she said, "I'm just brushing my tooth."

• She is constantly trying (and usually succeeding) to get naked or changing her clothes.  We've had days where her outfit changes are in the double digits.  She can only reach clothes in Ellery's drawer, so often times they are either clothes from the hamper or Elle's 5T pants and skirts.    

• You know when you have a problem that is just weighing on you and no one really cares about it the way you do and your husband kind of cares, but not enough, and you ask sisters to pretend it's their problem and just care about it like you do for a second so they can feel what you feel and give you brilliant advice about your heavy problem and they try but they just can't?  Anyone?  Well, my little Layla is that problem for me right now.  Oh, there's so much to say here.  She is a different child since she's stopped napping and is sans souci.  She is just into more things- more destructive, more whiney, more cranky, more demanding.  Her sweet little self is being masked by this fussy, stubborn, exhausted child.  I miss her.  I see glimpses.  Like yesterday when she was all of those about mentioned things all day at our house and we were ready to sell her, but as soon as we got to my parents house to visit she was this sweet little perfect thing.  Glimpses like that are not fun.

Just some of Layla's handiwork

• Anyway, I don't know what to do to help her through this phase (please let it be a phase) except just give it time.  I find that that is true with so many things when it comes to issues that arise with my children.  It's easy to give that advice and have that perspective with others "It's just a phase.  It won't last forever.  It will be over and done with soon." But I have a hard time thinking that when I'm in the middle of an issue with one of mine.  In hindsight, I've learned that most difficult things that arise with my children are not long term.  They seem like these huge problems when I'm going through them, but they rarely are, and they almost always are gone and forgotten before I lose too much sleep over it.  I am hoping that soon I can look back on this phase of Layla's and say, "Wow, that was rough, but now it's over."  

• I write these things on my blog, hoping that whoever is reading will understand my heart as I explain the not so glamorous side of my mothering.  Like, hoping that whoever reads this understands how after a long Saturday at home with a cranky baby, you joke about selling them. (Layla can joke about it, she told us she was going for $2.50). The bottom line is, even with the difficult things I go through with them, I sure love them all the time.  I will go through this phase with Layla, and I will love her through it, and sometimes I will ask if anyone's interested in a two year old girl, and I will worry about how we're going to get through it.  But I know we will.  

• On a lighter note, this kid is growing up fast.  After potty training my two older kids I swore each time that I wouldn't potty train the next kid until three.  Ellery took like two years to fully train, so I was determined to stick to my three year old rule with Layla.  I'm afraid Layla is kind of potty training herself.  The last couple weeks she's gotten super into going potty and asks to do it most every day.  Always naked from the waist down, she sits atop the toilet like a pro.  In fact, Brian compares her toilet-top antics to the pommel horse- and that is a perfect description of what she looks like- her arms holding her up and her body swinging around the middle of the bowl, legs dangling in fron of her.  She doesn't go potty every single time I let her try, but she does it quite often, and today she went poop twice.  So I'm pretty sure I have to break my rule and go with this.  Wouldn't you say she's ready?

• With potty training comes the idea of putting her in a big girl bed.  I kind of wanted to keep her in her crib until she was five, but I might have to give up that dream too.  She can get out of her crib, although she doesn't do it very often, surprisingly.  The other day I was putting her in a time out in her crib and she threatened me, saying, "I'LL FALL OUT!"  It's a good way to put how she gets out of there- she kind of just plops onto the floor in a heap.  No wonder she doesn't do it often.  Anyway, a big girl bed is imminent.  Boo for me, but she's going to be SO happy. 

• She may be growing up, but she is content to be a baby, all day long actually.  She wants to play baby with anyone who's up for it all the time.  She's sometimes the mom, but usually she's a baby named Gabriella.  It's weird when your baby is doing baby talk.  

• Friday was a big day for me.  After probably twelve years, I went skiing.  Brian's work has passes that we can use, so Brian took me up to Sundance.  It was so weird being there- I haven't skied there since I was a kid.  This was a big deal for me because I feel old and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do it.  I actually didn't want to go, but the fear in me was so strong that I decided I needed to do something hard- it would be good for me.  Plus, it was free!  Surprisingly, I wasn't as horrible as I had feared, and although I was slow, I could still ski.  Brian was patient with me, even though I would stop mid-mountian to just look around at everyone whizzing by me.  I reaffirmed that I don't love skiing, never did, but I actually liked it, which is more than I thought I would feel.  I think I might want to go again.  Part of what was so fun was that it was just me and Bri doing something fun together in a way different environment.  Maybe I'm a skier!

• This is Brian in my PopPop's hat.  I want him to wear it all the time- he looks so handsome in it!

• This winter has been extremely cold and snowy.  Consequently, our roof has been subject to icicles, and a newly learned term for me- ice dams.  Brian has kind of obsessed about the state of our roof for weeks- the melting, the snow, the icicles, and especially the ice dam.  Today was a great day- the icicles and ice dam are gone and Brian is breathing easy for the first time all year.  It was over thirty degrees today and as we walked to church it was like a spring morning- so warm!    

The willow tree is still beautiful, even in this frozen weather.

• It has been super cold but that hasn't stopped Brian from running.  People in our neighborhood tell me that they see him running in the mornings and they cannot believe their eyes.  Negative temps or the horrible inversion don't keep this guy inside.  He's crazy.

• I am extremely ready for a vacation to a warm, sunny place.  It's going to happen mid-February but I hope I can last that long.  I sometimes think back to the Oregon winters- and although they're quite rainy, the grass is green, the trees are alive and you get some days where you can play outside.  I can't think about that too much.

Happy Sunday!

thoughts on a sunday or whatever

• Most of these thoughts are older than this last week- but you see, it was Christmas time, and I didn't have time to blog.  

• I was tucking Ellery and she was saying her personal prayer.  Before she started she whispered, "Mom, can I say 'Father in heaven'?"  I told her she definitely could and then it turns out she was too embarrassed to say it. 
• 
  
• That reminds me that McKay will sometimes throw in "as we say these things" at the end of his prayer.  It's sweet that they are listening to others and trying it out in their own prayers.  

• McKay's been going a bit rouge sometimes with his prayers during the Christmas season.  Many times I heard him say this: "Congratulations that it's so close to your birthday.  I love you."  Awwww.

• Ellery is still obsessed with coloring.  Right now she's really into drawing her own pictures and also drawing many, many letters and then trying to read them like they're words.  This scene is a frequent one around here- her on the floor with paper and art supplies scattered around her.  I love finding her like this- it makes me happy.  It's about the only thing she does on her own lately, too.  Sadly, since we moved to Utah, her ability to play on her own has suffered a bit.  

• This coloring reminds me of another fun thing we've been doing lately.  Thinking of easy, quick and fun family home evening activities can be tricky.  A few weeks ago I got the idea do a rotating drawing.  We each start with a blank piece of paper and begin a drawing (we did Christmasey things) and then after a little bit we'd say "switch" and then pass the paper to the  next person and continue to add to their drawing.  We went all around the table until we had our original drawing back and then we'd show it and say what we started with and who added what. The kids really loved it.

• We went to the ward Christmas party a few weeks ago.  It was a really simple gathering, but the kids had so much fun seeing and playing with their friends in the church, not on Sunday.  Layla was soon adopted for the night by a couple of my beehives and she was eating up that attention like you wouldn't believe.  On the way home she said, "Mom, can you call my friends?"  I almost couldn't handle the cuteness.

• We had a death in the family.  Brian and McKay found Sparkles dead in her cage.  It was 4:30 p.m.  McKay had to be at the first grade Christmas sing at 5:45.  This is not a lot of time to comfort grieving children, make and feed them dinner, dispose of a dead guinea pig and make sure they have clean shirts and faces before leaving the house.  

• McKay wanted to tell Ellery immediately, but she was downstairs playing with friends.  He was pretty much hysterical at this point.  We found an empty Wheat Thins box and Brian put Sparkles inside.  I sent Ellery's friends home and broke the news to her down in the playroom.  She smiled at me.  She seemed kind of fascinated.  She wanted to see.  Brian insisted on throwing her in the trash.  He told the kids it was against the law to bury animals in your yard.  He got the Wheat Thins box out of the trash and Ellery peaked in.  After that, it wasn't fascinating anymore, and she fell apart- right there with McKay.  They were setting the table for dinner heavy with tears.  McKay had the idea to write "Sparkles" on our napkins.  We all appreciated the sentiment and had a dinner in her honor.  

• McKay had been so excited for his Christmas program, but after the traumatic event of losing a pet, he adamantly declared through his tears that he couldn't sing.  It took a lot of convincing, but we got him to the school and up on the stage.  He was this little, depressed lump of a child up there with all the other wiggly, excited first graders.  Several times- when I could tell that tears were coming- I had to make eye contact with him and remind him to take deep breaths and hold it together.  The people around me probably thought I was crazy doing these big, exaggerated breaths at my kid up on stage.  It helped him though and he made it through the program, although I really don't think he smiled at all during the whole thing.  But he did it.

• After getting home we knew we were in for a long, grief-filled night.  We were right.  Ellery went right to sleep, but McKay was up for hours, mourning his sisters pet or worrying that Smokey was dead as well.

• Smokey isn't dead.  I must admit, I would have been more sad had it been him.  Don't tell Ellery. We are all worried that Smokey might be depressed.  How can you tell with guinea pigs though, really.

• A few days after the death, Ellery was still struggling.  Grandma helped Brian see that a burial would be best for his grieving children, so in the ground she went.  It helped Ellery, and Grandma even made Sparkles and Elle matching blankets to remember and comfort one another. She still gets sad at times, but mostly she's fine, given that she really didn't care about Sparkles much when she was alive.  

• So that is all our old news, here's a few new tidbits.

• After visiting the dentist with the kids- and no cavities for anyone!!!- it was pretty clear to me that I really did need to take Layla's souci away. . .again. . . mostly because the dentist said the longer she had it the more we would pay for orthodontics later.  Hmmm.  So I made a goal for January.  You guys, it's so hard for me to take that stupid thing away.  Well, I didn't take it away, we cut it again.  So we told her that her precious pink souci- the one that she had discovered in the toy basket- was now broken too.  It broke my heart to see her face when she discovered it.  My other kids think we're so mean to cut her souci.  They don't get why we have to take it away at all.  So this is night two without it.  She's getting more attached to her blankie and her baby, so at least there is some comfort in that lonely bed.  

• Of course I worry that this will be the end of her naps.  That's the main reason why I gave it back to her the first time.  But lately her naps have been more sporadic and I can see an end coming, so it wasn't so hard for that reason.  I still plan on giving her rest time, but will probably allow her to have books to read.  She naps really well every few days, so maybe even without the souci she'll do that.  

• Lately, when Layla pretends to talk on the phone she says this:  "I'm going to call the queen.  'Hello, queen.  How are you?'"  It is my very favorite thing to hear her talking to that old queen.

• McKay finally- FINALLY- lost his second front tooth.  You know, those awkward ones on the top?  Yep, it came out tonight.  So now he has a full grown manly tooth on the left side, and a wide open space on the right.  Still cute to me.
• A couple of cute notes my kids made at church and gave to each other and me for Christmas.  

• Happy mid-week!