a little reflective on a sunday

{little david, grandma doris, paul}

I am still at my parents house. Still missing my Bri, but enjoying this time to just relax and spend time with family.

Tonight my dad and I had an interesting discussion about his childhood. It started when he was telling me about his favorite uncle Will. I then expressed how weird it was to me that he had this whole family before he had us. The only people from my dad's side of the family I have met are my grandma, my uncle (his only sibling) and my one cousin. Yes, I have just one cousin. Hi Amanda! Anyway, there is obviously a whole group of people back in Pennsylvania that are or were in my dad's life and how weird is that to think about? Who are those people?

We then started talking about how simple life was when he was growing up. There are so many things about that time period that I envy. The simplicity. The safety. The traditions. But mostly the simplicity.

My dad's favorite part of Christmas was not the presents or Santa Claus, it was Christmas candy and homemade cookies. Candy and cookies! He got underwear and socks for Christmas and maybe one toy. They were poor. So the excitement of Christmas was about the treats. Fruitcake even. He said there was never any candy in their house, except for at Christmastime. And his mother never made cookies, except for a very special occasion, like Christmas. How many times a week do my kids have candy? How often do we make or buy cookies? And sure my kids get excited about treats, but I would hardly say it overpowers the piles of presents they accumulate during birthdays and Christmas. I love the idea of having candy be so special to a child. So rare. I get sad thinking about the instant gratification that we all are so used to. For most of the people I know, myself included, it is uncommon to want for something material for long.

I think about the stories my dad would tell us about when he was a little boy. He was always outside playing. Active in every sport. He and his brother had outside adventures and got into innocent trouble, like staying out too late, or being filthy dirty when they came home. I think back to when I was a little girl and I remember rollerblading everywhere, climbing trees, playing night games and building forts. Outside. I want to live in a place where my children can have outside adventures. I want to live in a time where my children can have outside adventures.

Our conversation then moved on to the security and safety of that time. I learned that Genie couldn't show her navel on tv, and Lucy and Desi slept in two twin beds with a night stand between them as not to suggest that they would actually sleep in the same bed. That you couldn't say the word pregnant on television and swearing was unheard of on the air. That Godzilla's special effects wowed my dad and all his friends and the famous shower scene in psycho was absolutely mind blowing to the teens of that time. What is on tv now? What are we watching? Crime, language, violence, sex. They are everywhere. Right now they are everywhere. What is it going to be like when my kids are grown? What will they have to filter out of their lives?

I am not saying that I don't appreciate this time that I'm living in. Of course I do. And I am learning not to fear this wicked world that we live in because I know I don't need to be afraid of it. But I picture my cute dad growing up and I just want to be excited about something as simple as cookies. That's all.