four years ago

Today in Sunday school the lesson was on Job.  I didn't think much of it as I saw his name written on the chalkboard.  But as Brother Fassbinder dove into the lesson by asking us a time we had adversity that strengthened us in the end, it kind of hit it me all the sudden.

Four years ago I heard this same lesson.  Carly George from the Summerlake ward taught me about Job the day after I learned that I might have MS.  I sat there, somehow having made it to church after an exhausting and devastating Saturday, and it was like I was hearing Job's story for the first time.  It struck me deeply that if he could go through such horrific and terrible trials and still have faith in Heavenly Father's plan for him, then I could maybe, possibly accept His will for me during this new trial.  I could try to be a little bit like Job.

My little family four years ago

Back to today.  I didn't share how important this lesson had suddenly become to me.  I didn't raise my hand and tell of my experience four years ago and how that adversity in my life strengthened me, prepared me, taught me and helped me be who I am today.  I didn't reveal the significant parallel that this was for me.  I was too emotional about it and I didn't want to bawl in front of everyone.  But I felt so much gratitude for where I am today.  There are other trials that have come and gone since then, and I know there will be more, but I am happy to be on the other side of some.  And I know going forward that I have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who are there for me.

I was just really humbled and grateful to be hearing another lesson on Job.  And the words that Brother Fassbinder said were just what my heart needed to hear today.  The video he showed was just what I needed to see, to remind me of where to turn in times of trial.

It's funny, I feel like sometimes in life, spiritual experiences flow really freely.  It's not hard to feel the spirit and receive personal revelation.  Then there are times when those spiritual experiences are really hard to find.  Hard to feel, I guess is more accurate.  I have been in that hard place for a couple months now.  I have wondered why I am not feeling the communication I usually feel from my Heavenly Father.  Wondering why I felt like He wasn't hearing my prayers, and especially not answering them.

Today, several times throughout church, and pretty much the whole of Sunday School, I felt those feelings again.  Today's lesson helped me remember feelings I had forgotten.  It helped me know things for today- that He is here, that He cares, that He listens.

And today I knew that my prayers were being answered.