her turn

This little miss has started preschool.

She is so excited to be going to school with all her friends.  I can tell this is going to be really great for her.  She needs something all her own.  Something that a certain older brother hasn't done already.  Something that she can tell us all about, since she's the only one who's experienced preschool this way.  

Sometimes I wonder what is happening to me.  I didn't even do her hair up all fancy for her first day of school.  If I remember right, Brian was the creator of this pony tail.  What?  It's a good thing she's so cute, with, or without fancy hair.  

I don't know if you noticed this backpack or not, but this is perhaps why fancy hair is not so important to this girl.  She's got this fancy backpack to make up for everything.  I love this girl and I even love this back pack on her.  She's ready for school!

dear layla ann,

I just want to take this opportunity to apologize to you, my sweet, youngest child.  

I know you are a year old, and the only professional pictures I've had taken of you were when you were two weeks old.  Your siblings had several photos taken during their first year of life, but somehow it just didn't happen with you.    Please don't think I love you any less than them, when you're all grown up and wondering what you looked like as a baby.  

Please know going down to the JC Penney to have some random person snap your picture seems like a mountain that I just can't climb.  I've been trying to climb it since you were six months old.  And then you became seven months old.  Then eight.  And now here you are, a year old and I'm still trying to make my way down Scholl's Ferry road to that portrait studio.  

Please know that I'm making an appointment tomorrow.  Please don't scratch yourself on your face like you did last month when I had an appointment set.  And I promise I won't let you fall off the bed and bruise your nose, like I did when I re-scheduled that appointment.  Okay?

You're really cute.  You might be my favorite.

Love, mom  

cute girl, creepy girl

July 18, 2011
 I kind of feel like McKay could really go places with this hair. . .

Brian?  Well, he could only go down.  Way, way down.

 I'll take his cute, little bald head any day.

ready, set, kindergarten!

I've been thinking a lot about the decision we made to keep McKay home another year.  I am really glad I had one last year of keeping all three of the kids home with me. McKay had an excellant year of preschool and learned and grew and had a lot of fun, and it felt right when we were home together.

Now that he started kindergarten today, that year is even more precious to me.  I wonder if I did enough with him at home.  Did I teach him enough?  Did I prepare him for school?  Did I take advantage of the fact that it was the last time that I had control over what influenced him?  Did I give him enough of my time and attention?  No, probably no to all of those.  I could always do more.  But the point is, I'm grateful that we were there together.  I am not a mom who pushes academics at home.  We do it if they're interested and if it's fun, but most of the time my kids would much rather play pretend or go outside or help me cook or, lets be honest here, watch a movie, instead of memorize things.  I'm happy that I have so many memories of those things this last year.

That's not to say I'm not ready for him to start school now.  I am so ready!  He is so excited!  This summer got me really, really ready.  Did it sill break my heart a little bit to let him go?  Yes.  Knowing that he's now in the real school system at an actual elementary school makes me want to cry and wrap him up in a blanket and make him snuggle me for the rest of his life.  But this kid has been waiting a whole year to be a kindergartner and there is no stopping him.  I'm certainly not going to.

the best visitor

Look who gets to visit us for a whole week!  I can't even tell you how happy I am that he's here.  He unexpectedly had eight days off in a row, so after pulling a few strings, he was able to come home for a week!    He needed it.  He really is in a horrible, horrible situation down there in Tampa, I don't know how he's done it.  I asked him what he wanted to do while he was visiting home and he said, "Anything that doesn't have to do with anesthesia."  I can work with that!

So glad he gets to be here for both kids first days of school, and I'm really pushing for McKay to lose his first tooth and Layla to start walking while he's here.  Hooray!

Also, we made him that sign up there and McKay was passionate about sticking a big beef stick to the poster for Brian.  Lucky guy.  

my first baby

McKay turned six on Saturday.  What?!  How did this happen!?!  My baby is six.  He is definitely more of a boy and less of a little kid- he has been for awhile.  It's really strange to watch your child balance between the innocence of being little and needing you and loving things that little kids love, and at the same time watching them begin to worry more about what other kids are thinking and doing, flirting a little more with right and wrong and basically beginning to see a little glimpse of a teenager in there somewhere.  I am excited and mournful at the same time.  He is growing up.

Just a little bit about this boy of mine:

• He is so excited to finally start kindergarten!
• He loves talking to adults.  Any adult, really.  We think it's the grown-up feedback he gets, and the attention to detail that he loves.  He's a friendly boy.
• Even though he's getting older, he still loves animals.  Not in the same way as when he was little, but he's still got a soft heart for them.
• He eats dinosaur oatmeal almost every day for breakfast.
• He' s very interested in Nintendo.  When I say Nintendo, I  mean all types of video game station things, but I call them all Nintendos.  Anyway, he is really into playing whenever he gets a chance- mostly at grandparent's houses.
• He's starting soccer next week and is SO excited.  
• He's the only one in our family who drinks milk regularly.
• He does not like to wear flip-flops.  He never knows when he's going to need to do some sort of physical running or kicking or climbing, so he likes to always be prepared with his shoes and socks on.  This is annoying for his mother.  But cute.  Just like his dad!
• I don't ever do his hair anymore. . .except for church.  He loves this.  Oregon has done it to me, and I must say, it's great!  
• He loves to be funny.  He loves making people laugh, and if he gets even the littlest reaction, he'll run with it.  
• He has an incredible memory.  He will just come out with the most specific memory or recollection out of the blue from years ago.  Like locations he's been to when he was little, people he's met only briefly years ago, and just everything.  He is always shocking me with things he remembers and he loves it.
• He has the biggest tonsils known to any man.  The things are huge.
• He is not the most reverent kid in primary.  We ask his teachers every week if he was good and although they always say yes, we can tell by the way they say it if he was or not.  Plus, he will always spill his guts when we get in the car, "I was really good at first, and then I started being naughty.  But only twice!  And then I stopped and was REALLY good."  
• He's the sweetest older brother.  He and Ellery get into it more and more lately, but they are still great friends and love playing and doing almost everything together.  They  have a beautiful little relationship- they understand each other and are concerned for each other.  Layla adores her brother and she lights up when she sees him.  He's nice to those girls.
• He's a germ-a-phob in the making.  He is very aware of sharing drinks and has specific people who he will or will not drink right after.  This sounds familiar to me.
• He really loves his dad.  Whenever he does anything bad, he immediately asks me if I'm going to tell dad.  I usually say yes, and then he starts begging me not to.  He does not like to disappoint his dad.  He thinks the world of him and he loves to make him proud.  They have a very sweet relationship and I'm really glad that they have each other.  
• He loves playing outside.  He'd be outside all day everyday if I let him.

No matter how old this big old kid is, I still just love him like crazy.  He's still my sweet boy.  Is it bad if I think he'll always be this sweet?  I just can't imagine him otherwise.  We are very lucky to have this kid in our family and he could not really be any happier about being six.

birthday interview - six

• What are some things you like to do?  Go fun places.  Go to parks and play games with my family.  Eat yummy food.
• What sports do you like?  Volleyball, no!  Not volleyball.  I like kickball, I like baseball, I like basketball.  My most favorite is soccer and kickball and baseball.  
• What things do you like to do around the house?  Help my mom with Layla, playing and I help do the laundry sometimes.
• What are some of your favorite foods?  Cake, donuts, pretzels, salty peanuts, popcorn with salt on them, and mac & cheese.  Oh, and corn on the cob- with salt on it!
• What are foods that you don't like?  I like carrots a little bit, but I don't like any more vegetables.  I  love all the fruits, except for peaches.
• What do you like to wear?  I like wearing my socks and shoes, not flip flops.
• What’s your favorite color?  Blue and teal.
• Where are some of your favorite places to go?  Chuck E. Cheese.
• What things make you happy?  When I play with Layla, And when I help my mom around the house it makes me feel happy.  
• What makes you sad?  When I be bad.  It makes me sad when my sister is bad.
• What do you do when you are sad?  Cry, sometimes.  Sometimes I don't.
• What do you do when you are mad?  Stomp and pout.
• Who are your best friends?  Talan and Isabella 
• What are your favorite movies or TV shows?  Pretty much Star Wars.  My favorite show is Berenstein Bears.
• What are your favorite books?  The Boxcar Children and Star Wars books.  
• What is your favorite thing about school?  Recess and learning.
• What do you want to be when you grow up?  A police man.
• Who is your hero?  Dad.  Because he's my dad- he's the only one I have.
• If you were an animal, what one would you be?  A tiger or dragon or cheetah or African wild dog.
  
  McKay- six years old stats (September 2011)
  Height: 3' 9"3/4 ~ 55%
  Weight 42 lbs. ~ 25%

Happy Birthday my one and only boy!

one

I can't believe this little miss is one year old today.  Thinking back to one year ago, her birth brought me a little glimmer of hope and joy in a really difficult time.  I feel so completely happy that she is a year old.  We are both healthier, happier and even more in love than we were back then.

This girl is quite in love with me, in fact.  She is a momma's girl through and through.  Sometimes it can be inconvenient to have such a momma's girl for a baby, but most of the time I love that just being in my arms can make her completely content.  I love that she needs me. . .most of the time.

• At just one year old this girl can already say several words, understands even more, and stood all by herself for the first time earlier this week.  
• She gets absolutely thrilled when she talks to her daddy on the phone- probably more than the other kids even.  
• She loves water- swimming, bathing, puddles, squirt bottles- as long as there's water!  
• She adores her brother and sister and looks for them when they're not around.  
• She is still a bit rough these days, as far as grabbing and picking at whoever is holding her.  
• Her favorite thing is putting her fingers in someone's nose and mouth and batting their face.  It's not that fun for the recipient, but she sure loves it.  
• She is content to ride in her infant car seat for a couple more months, and loves being sandwiched between her two siblings. 
•  Her favorite foods are any type of grain- cracker, bread, pasta.  
• She also loves zucchini and applesauce, but any other fruit or veggie is a gamble. Sometimes she'll love a banana, other times she'll look at you like you just tried to poison her with it.  Sometimes she'll refuse a certain food, until I put it on a fork for her to control, then she'll gobble it right up.
• Her hair is getting long and curls in the back.  It's getting thick and has a hint of strawberry blonde.
• I still have not put her in a pair of jeans.  We're looking at least until she's walking for that.
• She is not very close to walking.  She can stand on her own as of this week!
• She loves kitties.  She has several kitty books and gets so excited when she sees them.  She also loves looking at Grandma's kitty through the window.
• Her very favorite songs are The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Row, Row, Row Your Boat.  Maybe because those are the ones we sing most often, but she will do the actions.  I love, love, love seeing her little fists twist around as she does her little spider.  So cute!

• Layla- one year old stats (taken September 2011)
  Height 28 1/2" ~ 25 %
  Weight 21 lbs. ~ 45%
  Head 18 1/2" ~ 90%
  
  
• 

We sure love this girl, and I definitely love this little face she makes.  Happy Birthday Layla Ann!

day one

So it's finally here.  Day one done out of 56.  

I drove Brian to the airport early this morning.    

Yesterday was a hard day.  Our last day.  

I could have cried every time I looked at him.  

I did sometimes.

I thought this morning would be harder.  

I could have hugged him for an hour right there on the drop-off curb.  

I hated seeing him walk away.  

A few tears came as said goodbye, 

and a few more as I listened to Celine Dion sing about lonely hearts on the radio.

Then I thought "how silly" and turned it off.

I talked to him five times today.

I loved picturing him riding his bike to get groceries.

Not just any bike either, a beach cruiser!

But, this is not going to be easy.

A shack.

Cockroaches instead of roommates.  

And humidity.

I could go on, but he wouldn't want me to.

Up until this morning I kept worrying about me.

How am I going to do this?

Now my focus has shifted.

I suddenly realize I should have been thinking more about him.

I hate that he has to do this.

But I know he will.  

He's amazingly strong.

My heart is just hurting. . .for lots of reasons.

But mostly, tonight it's hurting for him.

October 8th can't come soon enough.

thoughts on a sunday

• This might be my last post for a bit.  We're going to Utah this week and I just might take a blog vacation like I did last time.  But.  Brian will be all alone in Florida, so I'm sure he'd appreciate the updates.  So I can't really decide.  I guess we'll see.

• So yes, the time has finally come for Brian to do his rotation in Tampa, Florida.  He flies out on Saturday morning.  For. Eight. Weeks.  We're just trying not to think about it too much, and we've been trying to really enjoy our last weekend all together.  Sometimes I wonder how I'm really going to do this.  I can hardly handle him being gone for twelve hours a day.  I feel like lately I've been barely hanging on with just that.  I already miss him.

• October seriously can't come soon enough.  He's going to miss a lot- Layla's birthday, Mack's birthday and the first day of Kindergarten.  At least he'll be back in time for Ellery's.  After this Florida rotation I feel like we can just fly through the rest until he graduates.  Nothing can be worse than being on completely opposite ends of the country.  Seriously, how much farther could he get from Oregon?

• I've been trying to knock a million things off my list to do before we leave.  This week I started the startings of a mom-preschool, made strawberry jam, did a bunch of errands, and took family pictures.  I still have a lot to do before Thursday, including finishing this preschool thing, and cleaning our house and carpets, and packing, and laundry, and going to the library.  Maybe that doesn't seem like a lot, but I like a simple schedule and mine seems too cluttered this week.  

• Layla has had diarrhea for the last week and a half.  I have no idea why and I don't need to talk in depth about it, but she has got the meanest case of diaper rash I've ever had in a child.  It just won't go away.  We tried Desitin, we tried Eucerin, we tried the fungal stuff that Grandma told us about and we even went out and bought Butt Paste for the first time ever and none of them are working.  She screams every time we change her (which has been about four times a day) and has been having lots of baths, which she loves.  I do not love how she's been going in the middle of the night.  What is wrong with her, really?

• McKay gave a talk in primary today.  The topic was The Temple is a House of God.  I wrote out a little talk for him on Friday night.  When I started to go over it with him, I decided to see what he could  come up with on his own.  These are his thoughts on the temple (with just a bit of coaching from me, otherwise it would be two lines long :)

The temple is a house of God.  We need to be reverent when we go to the temple because it is God's house.  In the temple we can pray, read the scriptures, get married, get sealed to our families, and make special promises to Heavenly Father.  I am not old enough to go to the temple yet, but I like to walk around the temple with my family.  It makes me feel good and peaceful inside.  

• I think that's a pretty sweet talk from a five year old. . .except the part about special promises.  I snuck that in there myself.  But he did great- he had most of it memorized.  I was proud of him.

• When we go to church, I feel like a complete circus.  Like really, our family is a circus.  It's embarrassing.  

• Just about the meanest thing you can say to Ellery is, "You're Mother Gothel."  She cries immediately.  And you can tell when she's really mad at you because you can bet you'll be called Mother Gothel on the spot.

• Ellery has been really fascinated by the fact that someday Brian will be her baby's grandpa and I will be their grandma.  This is really great news for her and she talks about it all the time.   She's even going so far as calling her sister Aunt Layla.

• I have been loving Fridays because those are Brian's days off.  I always want to remember Friday morning this week.  All five of us.  In our bed.  Snuggling and talking and laughing.  Then we had donuts for breakfast.  What could be better?

• Layla has been saying more and more words lately.  She can say hi, daddy, momma, bye bye, and uh oh.  My favorite is when she says hi.  She has this little sing-song way of saying it and its' really cute.  This morning she was saying "maya" over and over and over while holding onto one of Ellery's stuffed bears.  Finally the kids determined that she had named the bear Maya and Ellery was thrilled with the new title.  

• Layla's on a little aggressive streak though.  I nurse her three times a day now- early morning, mid-afternoon and right before bed.  Anyway, she doesn't take too long to eat, but if I'm not getting swatted in the face by her little hands, I'm getting bitten.  And these swats to the face aren't just playful and sweet, they are serious and deliberate and hard.  It's getting kind of scary for me.

• She's had a couple of passing out episodes since the big one last week, and I am afraid that I'm never going to let her cry hard, ever.  But now, every time she cries McKay yells, "She's  passing out!" and she never really is.  Now I think that he thinks that her crying is passing out.  We're all a bit confused.  

• I am quite impressed with the kid's primary teachers.  Ellery has been going on and on about Shadrak, Meshack and Abednego.  She loves to say, "Their heads didn't hurt.  Their arms didn't hurt.  Their legs didn't hurt.  Jesus was with them in the fire."  Today she learned about Joseph and his coat of many colors.  McKay told us the story of Heleman and the stripling warriors today at dinner.  His area of emphasis was that their mother's taught them how to fight.  :)

• Brian just had to fork over some more money to get a Washington nursing license.  He's now licensed in four states.  He'll be going to Seattle Children's hospital sometime this Fall, which was not in his original schedule.  He's been busy getting his resume and references all squared away and now the job hunt has officially begun!

• He's a good husband.  I like him a lot.

• I finally decided it was time to tell the kids my black widow story.  I have avoided it up til now because I thought it would scare them.  But they totally loved it, and are now constantly on the hunt for black widows.  The fact that it was in my bed hasn't crossed over in their minds yet, which is what I was worried about.  Maybe I'll have to share that story on the blog another day. 

• Today we got a new relief society presidency.  There was a very sweet, tender spirit in relief society today and I was touched by the thoughts of the new presidency.  I hugged Stephanie, the old  rs president, after the meeting and as I was thanking her for all she's done for me and telling her how amazing she is, I just couldn't hold back the tears.  We both cried has we hugged and I know almost every woman in our ward could have had that same interaction with her today, and many did.  Never has anyone's example touched me in such a way.  She is about as close to perfect as I've ever seen and I feel so honored to have been able to have her in my life in that capacity, even if it just might be a few short years.  I have never seen anyone so genuinely and sincerely give their love to others the way she does.  I write this down only to be able to remember how amazing she is, and how she has truly changed my life.  But of course, how could I forget that?

• So I mentioned that we took a few family pictures today.  I wanted to get them done before Brian left. And when I say "get them done" I  mean have my friend Starr, who is not a photographer, be our photographer.  We had gotten into position and had taken maybe five shots when suddenly, a bird that was perched high above us in a tree pooped right on Layla!  It was quite a shock for all of us and I was totally horrified, but laughing so hard at the same time.  It got on her headband, her cheek, and the big whammy on her shoulder.  She didn't seem to mind though, and we were all grateful that it landed where it did and not in anyone's hair.  McKay wasn't sure he could ever touch her again.  

Happy Sunday!

a thought

"Through our trials we learn who we are."

- someone at church

I was filing a stack of papers today and found some notes I had taken during church a few weeks back.  As I read this one again it struck me how much I completely agree with this statement.
Just thought I'd share.

triathletes

McKay and Brian participated in a local family triathlon on Saturday.  

Swimming one mile:

Biking one mile:

Running one mile:

This is not a picture of them finishing, because by the time I got over to the running finish line from the biking finish line, they were done!  I couldn't believe how fast they did it.  I was sad to have missed them cross the finish line, but happy to see all the local missionaries cheering on all the runners (our stake was one of the sponsors for this event).  It was really precious.  

But back to my triathletes.  It was so fun watching them do this together.  McKay has shown a great deal of determination in these types of physical activities, and he pushes himself really hard to do his best, which we are so proud of.  

Brian is so happy to have a little buddy who loves to do things like this with him.  It really was cute to watch them.  I'm glad they have each other- they make a good team.  Mack is pretty lucky to have such a great dad .    

McKay was pretty nervous for the swim, the first event, but so excited too.  Then on to the bike race.  Riding his bike is about as good as it gets for him.  But racing his bike?  Heaven.  The run is where this little man's endurance came through and he refused to rest or slow down and pushed himself through the whole mile.  Pretty good for a five year old.

Obviously this was geared towards kids and families.  I was so impressed with the whole event.  It was a really fun day.  Here, Elle is admiring McKay's new medal, and we've promised her that she can get one herself next year. . .