disneyland

Ah, so here's the thing.  I am trying to do some blogging here, and going back to December does not feel great.  It feels blah.  So because of that blah-ness, I am not able to be any sort of creative when it comes to my post titles.  Sorry.

Here's the other thing.  We went to Disneyland in December, and I have already made a photo book of that exact Disneyland trip.  So, since my blog will one day be turned into photo books (how have I not started that?) I am not really caring about this trip being well represented on the blog.

Here are just a few highlights.  My favorite pictures, I guess.  I know there are like fifteen, but just think about how many pictures you take at Disneyland and you will understand that fifteen is not very many.  :)

 

nine

On March 21st we celebrated nine years together.  Nine years since I became Sarah Matthews.  Nine years seems like a long time.

Brian wrote me a very sweet note celebrating the new beginning we are embarking on.  New in so many ways.  I am happy to be starting this new beginning with him.  He's a good man.

I love him.

Happy nine.

spent my anniversary in a yurt

Brian has been dying to go backpacking, or camping, or really anything outside while he's had so much time off.  The trouble is, it's winter (I guess spring now), and we have a baby, and I am not too interested in camping in the cold with a baby.

On Sunday night he came and told me that there was a yurt available in Goblin Valley for two nights.  We decided to head down and give the yurt a try.  The fact that it was heated with a gas fireplace didn't hurt.

Here are a million pictures of our trip.  It was really fun.  The weather was great, the yurt was warm and our kids loved running around all the goblins.

Valley of the Goblins

In a cave.  This girl surprised us and was right up there with her brother.  Sometimes she can be so. . .um. . . feminine, that it gets in the way of any athleticism she might have.  But she showed us that she is a tough girl as she climbed around Goblin Valley.  (or as she kept calling it on accident, Alien Valley)

 Those neon pink shoes served her well.  But we used laces from McKay's cleats and had to triple knot them.  They were a PAIN to get on and off.  It's okay though, because I smiled every time I looked at them on her feet.

Picking up dirt chunks from the ground like a puzzle and throwing them at goblins.  I particularly enjoyed this activity.

Little Wild Horse Canyon.  We had to make a potty stop (#2) for one of the children, then the other was so jealous and wanted to go in a hole too.  We had to do some major bribing with oreos to get them to hold it in.

   

Right after this picture Elle fell and scraped her elbow and you would have thought she was dying.  But a little wipe with a rubber band around it did just the trick and she survived.

Layla didn't mind her backpack too much, and as long as we kept giving her rocks to chew on, she was pretty happy.

 After our hike.  

This boy was in heaven.  He was climbing all over the place and couldn't wait to hear what was next.  He was kind of exhausting, as he usually is when he is anticipating something, but it was still cute.  He loved being the leader and running ahead of everyone, and was a skilled cave-spotter.  I am really glad that Brian and he have each other to love the outdoors together.  

Home sweet home.  This little yurt was nestled up in the beautiful red rocks.   

 This is the inside.  Pretty nice, huh?  I think I'm converted to yurt-ing.  Even though we weren't cold, Layla still woke up several times at night, and the second night McKay and Ellery both woke up with ear aches.  Sleep wasn't very restful for us, but I was so happy not to be cold and worried about Layla, that it didn't matter.

Speaking of Layla, she acted like she owned this place.  We just let her wander around and eat dirt and chew on rocks and climb where she could.  I think it was liberating for her to have so much freedom and chose where she went on her own.  She loved it.

 We played sardines, kick-the-can, and just climbed all over the rocks by our yurt.  (Are you sick of the word yurt?  Me too.)  It was very fun and the kids loved it.   Brian and I did too.  

It was a fun little spur-of-the-moment trip and I think Brian got his fix.  He's actually been trying to find a way to take McKay somewhere else this week, but at least we got one trip in before he starts work next week.  I love traveling with my family- even though it's a lot of work with little kids.  The memories that come from trips like these are priceless.    

thoughts on a sunday

• After a bath, I was about to lotion McKay with the regular Jergen's lotion I use for the kids.  He asked if he could use dad's "man lotion" and I agreed.  I put it on him and we all admired the manly smell.  Then Ellery said, "McKay- you look like a man and you smell like a man!"

• Nonnie unexpectedly gathered the whole family together on Monday night for dinner at Chuck-A-Rama.    The kids were in heaven.  It was so fun for them to get whatever they wanted for dinner with no limits.  McKay reported on the way home that he had water, apple beer, green slush, banana slush, chocolate milk and root beer.  That was just the liquids he consumed.  Aunt Lisa was amazed as she watched Ellery clean her chicken leg clean to the bone.  As we discussed this on the way home, McKay admitted to having some pretty big regrets.  "I wish I would have saved my chicken bone and brought it home.  Then I would have tied it in mom's hair." 

• Ellery's hair hadn't been brushed in two days, and we were about to go out so I quickly put it in my favorite style- a messy, top bun.  She was playing with her girls as I did it and when I was finished she was quite upset- she does not often like to wear a bun.  I asked her to just look in the mirror and see how it looked as she threatened to take it out in her angriest voice.  She stood on the stool in front of the mirror and slowly I saw her expression change.  "I do look beautiful in this bun," she declared.  At dinner she noticed that her and Aunt Marilyn both had buns.  She announced loudly, to the whole table, "Marilyn!  We have the same bun!" except we all thought she said bum.  

• One of our new favorite things to have Layla repeat is "I'm sweet" but she says it like, "I'm fweet" and it's precious.  Another thing she can do, but I just haven't recorded is count to ten. . .except she just starts from whatever number she wants.  Whenever anyone says a number, she will start counting up from that number.  This is especially funny when Brian or I are counting to three when we're trying to discipline one of the kids.  It looses some of it's effect when Layla is right there saying, "...three, four, five..."

• Like most of Utah County, we got ourselves some Passes of all Passes.  We went to the Lehi Trafalga for the first time this week.  McKay and Sharp loved laser tag, Elle chose not to mini-golf but loved the frog hopper ride, Layla and I got lost inside the slide thingy(terrifying), and all of them (Mack, Elle, Sharp, Silas) climbed up the rock wall.  They loved it.

• While driving home in the car today Layla was tired and hungry.  She was crying and being loud and Brian shared a trick with me that he says has been working on her for weeks.  He started singing the night-night Layla song and she immediately stopped crying.  He said it scares her into being good because she doesn't want to go to bed.  I was shocked that it worked, but even more shocked when she took it even farther and began to say "Happy, happy."  She really did not want to go to bed.

• Something exciting happened to McKay this week.  He came home with the Star Student of the Month award from his kindergarten class.  He and another kindergartner from the other class got to have cinnamon rolls and chocolate milk with the principal during class.  He said his name was announced over the intercom.  He was pretty proud and kept telling us that he was NOT hungry because of the goodies he had eaten at school.  It was a good day for him.

• The other morning McKay and Ellery found themselves up in Grandma's sewing room.  Before I knew it, McKay came running down the stairs with a homemade BYU pillow that they had sewn together, and Ellery soon followed with a soft, white teddy bear.  I'm pretty sure they think Grandma can do anything.  I think they're right.

• Brian is enjoying his life of leisure.  His enjoyment will be cut short though, because everything is on track for him to start earlier than expected- next week maybe!  This is really good news, but you wouldn't be able to tell that from Brian.  He was looking forward to having freedom until the end of April.  I am looking forward to a paycheck.  

• I think I've mentioned how Brian is running with his dad.  They are about as happy as can be with this arrangement, and run nearly every day.  I'm happy that he finally has the time to put into this hobby.  From what I hear from his dad, he is in the best shape of his life.  

• Last night we were awakened at three in the morning to the sweet sound of Layla singing twinkle, twinkle litlte star.  I didn't know if I felt mad or totally in love with her as I changed her diaper in the middle of the night.  It was pretty precious, but also, who poops at three in the morning, Layla?
• 
  

Happy Sunday, and more posts below!

v-day

My mom always had a little something for us on Valentines day, and I remember loving it, so I've done the same with my kids.  They woke up to a little treat on the table, alone with their own valentines balloon.  Nothing like candy for breakfast.  How do you feel that three of Layla's most common food words are candy, cake, and cookie?  McKay was expecting a "chocolate sculpture" of an animal because that's what they've gotten the last couple years, but wouldn't you know it, when you go to get treats on the 13th of February, it's slim pickin's.  

This is our first year making a Valentines box.  This boy takes all the credit for this monster/alien/zombie, which is exactly what it's called.  It was fun making it with him and seeing his little creative mind at work. 

The glow stick lightsaber Valentine's were a big hit.  Such a big hit, that two other kids in his class gave them out.  Oh well.  At the end of the day on Valentines day I was so annoyed at the amount of candy and sugar that had come into our lives.  I contributed, yes, but I don't ever remember it being this out of hand.  That's why I didn't mind that he got two extra light saber's in his valentine's box.  Two less pieces of candy. 

Ash joined us for a special Valentine's day party at preschool.  They did lots of things with hearts and Elle and I were glad to have another student joining us for our big party.  Except, I guess I failed as a teacher because during preschool Elle kept asking me when the party was going to start.  "This is  the party, sweetie."  

nursery girl

This little child went to nursery today for the second time.  She marched right up to the table and started doing puzzles just like the older kids.  She stayed in there the whole time and didn't cry a bit.  When I picked her up, they told me that she would ask for me, but they could easily distract her.  She was happy to see me, and sad to put the baby she had been holding the whole time down.  She recovered quickly when we went to show Elle what she had made in nursery.  She was proud when Ellery got so excited.

Brian and I are amazed that she did so well.  But, I suppose after McKay and Ellery each having months of tears and parental accompaniment with their nursery experiences, we deserve a low key entrance this time.  I guess next week will be quite telling.  Her first week she was happy for awhile, then started crying for me.  I don't know what she'll do on week three.  Either way, she's the cutest little nursery goer I've ever seen.

How did my baby get this big?

goodbye sweet thompson's

About a week before we left Portland, our favorite family had us over for dinner.  I made sure we took one last round of pictures with our twin family. . .except Brian and Scotty- I thought they might feel awkward.  

We love the Thompson's and miss them SO much.

Layla and Sagey

Ellery and Kenna

(this two would NOT give me a good picture)

McKay and Talan

Me and Starr

still here

I have been ready to call it quits for good on my blog.  I've shared how lately I've kind of hated it.  It seemed like a chore, when before it was always something I loved to do.  Then our life got even more crazy than it already was- Brian graduated, Christmas happened, we were job hunting and then finally packed up and moved.  I gave myself a free pass because I had no time for writing and editing pictures and really the last few weeks was quite happy without it.

I've noticed in the last year or so that most people on my sidebar have long since given up blogging.  There are only a handful of friends I can keep up with now.  Blogging hit hard a few years ago and everyone did it.  It was almost a problem with how many there were to read.  Now, that is not at all the case.  I feel it is a passing trend- passed really- now mostly reserved for lifestyle bloggers who make money off their words, leaving just a few dedicated personal bloggers left.  Blogs happened, and then it was just a matter of time before some other cyber outlet (twitter, pinterest, instagram) took over.  I couldn't help but think that keeping a family blog was "over".  A thing of the past.

Then about a month ago I opened a dove dark chocolate promise, like I do almost everyday, and read the fortune-like writing on the inside wrapper- which I hardly ever do.  "Be a little mysterious," it read.  This little tinfoil wrapper surprisingly had quite a profound effect on me and started me thinking.  With all of the online ways to communicate, keep in touch, and share words and pictures with friends, family and strangers alike, I almost felt "over it".  Over all of it.  Just tired of the over-sharing of every little detail and picture that occurs in one's life.  This was disturbing to me because as we all know, I am very open with my thoughts on my blog, and I share some intimate details of my life.  Be a little mysterious.  This rang true to me and I felt a longing to do just that- to be more private with my thoughts and the personal details of my family.    

 All these realizations, and the fact that it has become a little tedious to document the life of my family, caused me to to really contemplate giving it all up.  Just not ever going back.  I prayed several times about this decision- it was that heavy on my mind.  

Just now I went through my drafts and saw several posts that I had finished, but just not posted due to my internal turmoil.  I read them, looked at the pictures, and I hit the publish button without really thinking about it.  Then it hit me.  Funny, how something you've always known can hit you like it's the first time.  I like having blogged.  I might not like blogging.  I might not like that I am not at all mysterious to anyone who reads this (if anyone is still here).  I might not like uploading pictures.  But I like looking back on my life and being able to see and remember how it was, how it felt and how it looked.  Most of all, I love that my children will have this record.  Their life is important, and it's worth recording.  No one is going to do it if I don't and then it will be over.  Gone.  Memories easily forgotten and pictures piled up on my computer sitting in the cold little file folder icons.  I can't let that happen.  I want them to know me- to know how I felt, what I thought and how it was.   

It's a simple reason really, and it's sometimes easy to let those other thoughts have more weight, but it's the most important reason.  Maybe I'm not cool because I still blog.  Maybe I'll take actions to make my blog more mysterious (going even more private?).  But maybe I shouldn't quit.

So, I'm back. . .maybe not as consistently as before. . .but I'm back.  I think.

he's thirty and he did it

Brian's goal was to be finished with school by the time he was thirty.

I remember being twenty-three and thinking how far away thirty sounded.  It was forever.  I remember being twenty five and having many of our friends graduating and feeling like we still had forever to go.  I remember being twenty-seven and wishing so much for the day that we would be done and finally settling down into a home, our home.  At twenty-nine I remember going through the worst year of my life and thinking that it would never end and gazing longingly at the finish line.


And now here we are.  We're thirty.  Brian has been going to school for nine years straight.  Nine years straight!  He made a goal all those years ago, and now he has finally accomplished it.  He put in so much work, dedication and sacrifice to get there.  

I really don't even know if I have words for this.

I am so proud of him.

I guess that's about all there is to it, but of course, it's me, so there will surely be more words.

I know that many men go through rigorous classes, programs and experiences to get to their careers, and I don't want to make it sound like Brian went through something more difficult or intense than anybody else.  I know that many work hard to get to where they are.

It's just that I was there with him during it.  I saw exactly how difficult it was.  How exhausting it was and I was there watching him sacrifice so much in his life as he went along.  I sacrificed for it too.  So although I don't want to come off boastful about his accomplishment, I know exactly what it took to get there, and knowing all that it took from him, from me, and from our family, I am stinkin' proud of this man.

Also, I can't really run around my life bragging that my husband got his masters degree with a 3.96 g.p.a., so this is pretty much the place to do it.

I learned a lot about him during these two and a half years.

He is disciplined- he never slacked on his schoolwork.  He never procrastinated and was always prepared.  He went through a 20 pound box of note cards- studying each card several times over the course of a year. That's like two thousand cards.  Or more maybe.  For the first three weeks in January he studied from nine a.m. to about four p.m. every.single.day.  Those are just a few areas where he showed extreme discipline.

He is brave- Being a nurse anesthetist is no joke.  People's lives are literally in your hands.  It is nerve wracking, terrifying even at times (so I can imagine, hehe).  Not only did he learn to provide safe, quality anesthesia, but he did this at close to a dozen different hospitals.  He rotated around every couple months to a new hospital and this was basically like starting a new job each time.  That's like twelve first days of work in the course of two and a half years.  New people, new equipment, new protocols, new everything.  I really can't even imagine doing that.

He doesn't complain- I love this about Brian, maybe because I'm such a complainer!  He did not ever complain about things he had to do- even the hard things.  He just accepted the responsibility and actions that it took and would just do it.

He works hard- There were many rotations where he would leave for work at 5:30a.m. and not be home until just before the kids went to bed.  At some locations they work the students extremely hard- barely leaving them time to eat lunch, and he was exhausted by the end of the day.

He is smart- There is a lot you have to know to preform anesthesia.  He is so much smarter than I ever thought he could be.  Not that I didn't think he was smart- he always was- but he knows so much and I am constantly amazed at the medical knowledge that is just in his brain now.  It's remarkable.

He sacrifices- He gave up most of his hobbies to one, get through school and two, spend the remaining time with us.  He sacrificed his time, comfort, energy and time with his family to get through school.  He lived in lonely, horrible conditions and worked in toxic, horrible conditions.  He drove three hours every weekend sometimes to come home to us.  He sacrificed a lot.

He still lived- Although he did sacrifice and work hard in school, I really appreciate that he was still able to be the wonderful dad that he always was, and that when he was not at school or studying he was very present with us and we were still able to make memories and have fun.

Although I was happy that he was still able to be himself during this difficult time, I will never forget when he got home from Seattle for the last time and during that weekend- when he was finally free- I was able to see my Brian again.  He was visibly different.  A weight had been lifted.  It's really good to have him back.

We did it!

Twelve buddies.

I think they're kind of proud of him too.

Good job, Bri.  I really love you.

dear friends

I have some very sweet friends that I left behind in Oregon.  I really love the ladies in my ward.  

I am already missing them.  It is just so hard to say goodbye.  

Me leaving was a perfect excuse for a girls night, and I must say, I felt very loved by this group of ladies.  They were so thoughtful and sweet.  

Chrissy came up with the idea to go do a session at the temple.  I loved this idea and it was so fun sitting in there, looking at the long row of ladies sitting beside me.  It was a beautiful sight, I must admit.  

After the temple, we of course had to eat.  We went to Lake Oswego Grill, which I had always wanted to try, and it was delicious.  They have the most amazing waffle fries covered with a blue cheese and gorgonzola sauce.  I don't even like blue cheese and gorgonzola, but these fries?  So yum.  Oh, and dessert of course.  That was good too.  We actually stayed until well after closing, and had no idea that the whole restaraunt staff was just waiting for this giant group of dress-wearing ladies to leave.  Oops.  

Here are the sweet friends I left behind, but will always remember:

Cynthia Hedgecock and Shanan Gardiner.

Cynthia is one of the most laid-back, easy going people I have ever met.  She is so mild-mannered and such a great spiritual example.  She's also The mom to Carter who was in McKay's second year preschool class.  

Shanan was a friend to me before we even moved there.  She had heard a new family was moving in, tracked down our email address and had dinner for us the night we moved in.  I couldn't believe someone would do that.  She also had me and the kids over for our first play date.  So sweet.  She is an amazing cook and always is the first to offer to take someone's kids.  People think she has a day care in her home because of the many times she offers to help with kids.  She is the mom to Blayke- one of Ellery's bff's, Bailey- McKay's friend, and Beckham.

Chrissy Davenport and Cassidy Nelson

Chrissy is the mom of Kimmy, one of Ellery's primary and preschool friends.  Such a sweet, friendly, outgoing girl and a great mom.  She was the generous hostess of many movie nights downtown and because I think it's pretty amazing, I've got to tell you that she had a nearly 11 pound baby. . .naturally!  She brought by a bag of snacks for our trip the day we left.  I was really touched by the thoughtfulness of that.  

Cassidy is so creative and crafty and easy going.  Her little boy, Dax, is Ellery's friend and we were pregnant at the same time together, which was fun.  Layla and her cute twin boys would have been little buddies for sure.  I will always remember shopping with her and Cathy til the wee hours of the night on Thanksgiving.  The only thing that made that night worth it was being with such fun girls.  

Katie Hendrickson and Cathy Hollist

Katie amazes me.  She is so good and so humble.  She is the mom of four beautiful girls (Taylor, Hallie, McKenzie, Evelyn) and I really am in awe of how she runs her home.  She is so organized and such a good mom and I wish I could still live by her just so I could keep learning from her.  

Cathy was my closest neighbor, which was just lucky for me.  She has amazing style, is fun to talk to and serves tirelessly.  We actually went on dates when I didn't have a husband for awhile- her and Ty really took care of me.  One of the things I missed SO much when I lived in OR was the lack of other young moms in my neighborhood.  It was so nice to have this girl just a couple houses down.  I really miss talking to her and seeing her so frequently, and I'm SO glad that I got to be her neighbor.  I truly consider her one of my closest and dearest friends.   

Starr Thompson, Shera Lynn Murray, me

Starr.  I don't even know where to start.  My cub scout buddy.  My twin-family mom.  My best friend.  She was such a blessing to me and I learned so much from her.  She is so laid back and so honest about who she is.  She is so humble and thoughtful and I just really love Starr.  She took such good care of us whenever we were going through anything.  She was the first person I hugged and cried to after I found out about the whole MS thing.  She would bring me dinner just because I was having a bad day.  And she was always willing and happy to watch my kids.

I was Shera Lynn's visiting teacher.  I so loved getting to sit down with her each month and talk about life, motherhood, the gospel and everything in between.  She is incredibly sweet, and really funny and down to earth.  Her faith, testimony and humility were great examples to me.She is the mom of Brandon who was Ellery's friend and McKay's little buddy.  

Michelle Barker and Mailee Woodhouse

Michelle is so happy and friendly all.the.time.  I don't know if I ever saw her without a smile on her face.  She is positive and it's infectious.  She was also a friendly face at my ob's office, where she works.  She is a new mom to the cutest little baby, Dixon.

Mailee was my very first friend in Oregon.  I was so lonely at first and Mailee did not hesitate to befriend me, and fast too.  McKay and her son, Jaxon, had preschool together and we carpooled together.  She is really easy to talk to and really funny.  I'm really grateful that she reached out to me when I was struggling at first and became such a good friend.
  

If there is one thing I really learned from these ladies it's how to serve.  Each one has been an example of service to me.  In fact, there is so much I learned about service from being in the Summerlake ward and associating with these ladies that it changed me and I hope to be able to serve as willingly and endlessly as they did.  It really was a remarkable thing to behold, and I am so glad I got to be a part of it.

Our ward was our family while we were away and I really can't believe how lucky we were to end up in this family.  It was a blessing, that's certain.