It's a rainy Saturday night and I am lying on the bed listening to the rain fall outside. I love that I can hear the rain from inside my bedroom. I always wished that we could hear the rain in our old one, but we couldn't because of the deck above our window.
I'm lying here on my bed with mostly one thing on my mind. Today I dyed my hair. I intended to have it dyed to my natural dirty blond color. A sacrifice I decided to make.
I have brown hair now. It's not dirty blond, it's not even light brown. It's brown. I don't know how to feel. I'm just shocked by it. I don't know if I can love it. It's not what I expected. I've come to the conclusion that bringing your hair to your natural color is not as simple as it may sound. And perhaps having brown hair is part of the process. At least the process I chose.
Although, I did get a little annoyed when the stylist said, as she was washing the dye out of my already-dyed hair, "We should have done low lights and that may have been a better way to get what you wanted." Hmmm, thanks for that. She then tossed around words like ashy, follicle, absorb and split ends. I kind of stopped listening.
Here's what's bugging me. I wanted hair the same color as my kids. I think that is what my natural color is. Maybe I should have brought Ellery with me. But like I said before, perhaps it isn't that simple. My hair is now very much darker than my kids. I guess I should have been more clear in what I wanted.
I think I look older. I think my skin looks weird. I think Brian keeps looking at me like he doesn't recognize me. I think McKay said he liked it better the other way. I think Ellery keeps saying, "haircut?" while stroking my brown locks. I think I keep telling myself that my hair does not matter that much. I think that I don't feel like myself.
And. I think if I let myself, I feel liberated.
And a little bit lost.
But I'm trying to lean towards liberated.
7 comments:
Hair dyeing is never as simple as one might think. But... I really do like it. I actually really like brown hair and always wanted long brown hair like yours when I was growing up. You look good!
wow. that's a dramatic difference. personally, I like it on you. It's different but very becoming :) It's funny what something as simple as hair color can do to you. I went through a bit of the same thing when I went from blonde to my natural color.
by the way, what is mckay doing in that picture?
I like it. We look like blood sisters. Not just law sisters.
I like it on you. I've done it before, I hated it, I, myself cannot pull the brown off.
You most certainly can!
I think it looks really really good. I am so impressed that you did it. I get freaked out to even put low lights in my hair because i can't ever seem to communicate exactly what I want to the person and I don't do well with change. I bet it makes your beautiful eyes stand out even more. YOur kids looked darling on halloween.
LOL oh my goodness i was just laughing out loud in my office here at what you were saying about mckay and ellery's reactions....."haircut?" as she's stroking your hair. hahahaha. little kids are so funny. sarah...i've been debating the same thing! and i actually went and got what i think were 'low lights' although i didn't call them that and neither did the girl, so maybe i don't know what low lights are, but anyway, i'm more brown. and i commiserate with you, it's an awkward phase. but listen, you still look good, and like sarah, so you can pull it off. me?...i think i have to go get some more blonde for the winter, then maybe i'll try the natural color thing again in the summer when I have more color in my face. but just think of the money you'll save eventually by not having to get highlights every other month.
p.s. why do i feel like that kitchen looks like your old one? and have you posted pics of your house yet? come on, we've got to imagine you there!
Oh, how I hate hair problems. It is completely traumatic. How do you find a good hair girl in a place where you've never even been? But, I must say, I think it looks great on you. It doesn't look shocking. It's just Sarah with brown hair. What's so bad about that? You're still gorgeous!
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