Layla and me ~ six months ago
Last year, when my sister was in the throes of adjusting to motherhood for the first time, I kept giving her the same advice.
"I haven't done anything all day," she'd say.
You just had a baby.
"My house is a mess," she'd lament.
You just had a baby.
"I haven't exercised for a year," she'd confess.
You just had a baby, give yourself time.
"But my baby is six months old!" she'd reply.
That's okay. You STILL just had a baby. Six months isn't that long. Don't be so hard on yourself. You will get back to normal, I promise. Take this time to adjust and give yourself a break. You need it.
Now, I'm on the other end of that conversation. Now, it's my sister telling me that I just had a baby. It's a lot easier to give that advice, and actually see the truth in it, than to take it and live it myself.
But here's the conversation I've been having with myself lately:
"My house feels cluttered and always needs tidying."
You just had a baby.
"Whose body is this? I don't even recognize myself."
You just had a baby.
"I don't have the energy that I once had. I'm just so tired."
You just had a baby.
"My hair has never been uglier than it is right now."
You just had a baby and you don't have a stylist.
I am trying to remember that even though my baby is six months old (what?!) I have the whole first year to claim, "but I just had a baby." It really is a year long process to adjust to a new little one. I have these personal expectations, which I think a lot of us have, that I can take a few months after a baby, but way sooner than later I need to be on track again. I just don't think I can live up to those expectations though. And I'm letting that be okay. Infants grow and change so rapidly. The first year is a constant period of readjusting. There really is not much you can count on with a baby in your life because in a few months, things will be different again.
And do I want a perfect house and beautiful hair and a flat stomach? Um, yes!. . .of course I do. But I want to cherish this year with my baby girl even more. I'm working on enjoying her more, and spending less time and energy worrying about all that other stuff. It will get done. It will all change. Life will be normal again. But my little Layes will only be six moths old one time. . .and for one month. I kind of want to be there for it.
Happy six months to my girl today.
5 comments:
Happy half birthday to Layla! On one hand, I can't believe it has already been six months, and on the other it seems like she has been in your family forever.
The girl who used to do my (and Stacey's) hair lives in Portland...in case you're interested.
Sarah, those are very wise words. Listen to yourself. You are an amazing mother.
Needed those words today as I stare at the absolute chaos that is the current state of my life/house.
Happy Half B Day sweet Layla. She is to die for cute Sar. Me and Jana had dinner this weekend, and talked about your post. Yes, we sit around and talk about your posts. :) and it's so true. It takes time to start feeling like yourself again. Give yourself that time, and know that I think you're fabulous!
Okay, that literally made me cry. I'm afraid I'm rounding out my last month of being able to claim that I "just had a baby" since Jude turns 1 on the 29th. Does that mean my stomach should be flat by then? Because I don't think it will be. And my house definitely won't be clean. Shoot.
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