just anywhere

I wrote the title of this post before I started writing anything down.  Actually, I don't totally know where I'm even going with these posts.  My sister keeps telling me I'm not a blogger anymore because of my lack of posting.  All I can seem to manage is my once a week Sunday post, which is great, but there is so much more I want to be recording and remembering about my family right now that once a week does not satisfy me.  It's not that I don't have the time.  I have time, it's just that any down time I have, which is only a couple hours in the evenings, is filled with mental/physical/emotional exhaustion that I just have to sit and zone out by watching tv or looking at other people's blogs.

Three kids make me tired.

I have been feeling uninspired and a little bored with my blog lately.  I'm sure you've noticed.  I also feel like when I made it private everyone disappeared. . .except maybe Jana.  Hi Jana.  I feel strongly that I want to keep it private but I still kind of hate it.  I write better when I'm writing to people.  And sometimes I feel like there are no people.  But I have to keep reminding myself that my overwhelming motivation for this little blog of mine is to capture my children as they are right now.  To capture our life, especially the little details that I would surely forget.  It's to record my stories and thoughts and the things we do.  That is really why I do it.

So today when I was sharing all this with Brian and telling him I want to quit my blog, he simply said, "So, just write about the things that do inspire you."  Husbands are good at pointing out the obvious.  It makes sense.  Instead of worrying about documenting every trip we take, every semi-significant event that happens in one of our lives, I just need to document what I want to write about.  What I want.  And I'm not going to worry about if it's entertaining or boring or stupid.

We'll see how it goes.  We'll see if I can turn this around.

I'm not committing to anything though,
because I have three kids, and they make me tired.