thoughts on a sunday

Walking around the lake.  

• Ahhh.  I'm really hoping it's just a summer thing, but I'm just not totally in the mood to blog lately.  I've often said that I'm passionate about blogging to keep a history of my family- what we do, how we are.  I love that we can look back on the last four years of our lives and it's all documented.  It's really important to me to keep doing that.  But lately it's just something that's feeling more like a chore- and it's never really felt like that for me before.  I'm not making an announcement like I'm done or anything, I'm just complaining about it.  That's all.  Hopefully I'll get my blogging passion back.

• Perhaps some of why it's been hard for me to get back into it is because I feel sufficiently overwhelmed with life.  Ever since we got home from our trip to Utah I just haven't been able to totally get back into the swing of things.  I'm finding it really hard to find balance in my life and my responsibilities.  It's hard to be the kind of mom I want to be, and keep my house clean, and make sure everyone is fed, and try to exercise, and clean up some more, and remember how I wanted to organize every single nook and cranny in my house?  Add to that a crawling, napping baby, a husband who works a lot, and an endless list of to-do's and to-improve's.  I'm just tired, ya know?

• Okay, I'm done complaining.  And I'm totally excited to be blogging!  Hehe.  

• So I can't believe that the 4th of July was this same week.  We've done lots of things this week, starting off with our favorite holiday.  Or should I say previous favorite holiday?  It's not such a favorite if I'm not in Utah.  There just aren't as many things to do around here.  It's a totally different vibe.  In Utah, we're busy from early in the morning until late at night on the 4th of July.  Here, we did some really fun things, but also it was just like another Saturday at some points.  Our neighbor was actually washing his car in his driveway. . .on the 4th of July!

• I will say that moving here has helped us learn to be on our own for holidays or just boring weekends, and still be okay and have fun.  Just because we weren't going crazy at the Freedom Festival, doesn't mean that we didn't have a really nice holiday.  In fact, it was really nice.  Quiet, yes, but still memorable.  More on that later...

• Now I'll tell you about Layla today at church.  In relief society she was spread out in the aisle on the floor.  After eating her snacks I just let her pull things out of my bag.  Every time she would find something interesting, she would hold it up high and then look around at all the ladies surrounding her as to say, "I have a cookie!  Do you all see this amazing cookie I have:?!"  or even more enthralling, "I have a bottle of lotion!  Have you ever seen such a treasure as this bottle of lotion?!"  Poor thing was as proud of a granola bar wrapper as she was of her cookie.  It was pretty darn cute.   

• Let me tell you what else is cute.  Her top front tooth is finally coming on down.  Her gums have been bulging for about four weeks now, and a nice little, white tooth is emerging.  Except it isn't little. . .it's kind of huge.  And it isn't really nice either. . .it's crooked.  Crooked in the sense that half of it has come down, and the other half is still up in the gum.  So she's got this huge half a tooth hanging out and it's just the cutest little snaggle tooth you ever did see in a baby.  I love when she gives a big toothy/gummy grin to show it off to the world.   

• I might as well just keep going about my baby.  It seems I wasn't really around when McKay and Ellery were little baby eaters because I have no idea what to feed this baby of mine.  She is so weird with food.  She was kind of late to the solid food game to begin with, so I get that she's a little behind, but she's almost eleven months old and can't make up her mind about baby food or finger food.  I never, ever know what she's going to accept.  I can't count the number of times I open a jar of food only to have her shake her head at it and refuse.  Then some days I'll give her a piece of toast, or chunks of cooked apple and she will have nothing to do with them.  Basically, she still eats baby food, and she also eats finger food and sometimes she eats neither and I just nurse her.  There, now you know.

• Speaking of babies though, we have a new baby in the family.  Cute little baby Wayne was born to Brian's sister Lindy, and Alex, on Friday.  I wish I could hold him.  He looks really adorable.  Lin- I wish you could have seen Mack and Elle's faces when I told them he was born.  They were genuinely and visibly thrilled at the news.  

• Ellery also has a baby named Wayne in her tummy.  Princess is in there with him.  I don't know when they're due to arrive.  

• Some of my thoughts from church today:  Sacrament was on forgiveness.  It's hard to forgive.  It's hard to let go of hurt and anger. . .but mostly hurt.  It's good to realize that holding on to hurt is not the answer.  

• Sunday school was on, um, the Holy Ghost I guess.  Don't really remember the whole point of the lesson, but what I got out of it was how truly amazing and incredible it is that Heavenly Father cares about each one of us so much that we are all receiving promptings about big and little things all the time.  All of us.  That's a lot.  It's up to us to be in-tune and act on them, but they are there.  A friend made a comment about how one Sunday she was wearing the pearl earrings that she and her mom had both worn at their weddings.  All throughout the day she kept getting the thought, take out your earrings.  She kept ignoring the thought, or thinking to herself that she'd do it in a minute and then would forget.  She went to bed and the next morning one of them was gone.  She shared that story and then sweetly ended with the thought, "Heavenly Father doesn't care weather it's a pearl or a person, he just cares."  Heavenly Father cares about pearls.  I like that thought.  

• Relief society was on eternal families.  Lots of lovely thoughts were shared.  Most I agreed with, some I did not.  But the very last comment made me think the most.  She said that sometimes as LDS women we can get caught up in all that we have to do and how hard it is (see my second statement at the top).  She then said how at some point in the middle of raising her children she decided to stop calling it hard and just keep trying and finding humor along the way- trying not to take her life so seriously, but doing her best.  Brian and I have been struggling lately with patience with the kids and that statement really hit home to me.  Maybe instead of freaking out if our kids aren't acting perfect or just how we want them to, we can let go of our ideals a little bit and laugh some more.  I don't know, it's just a thought. . .

• Also, I hardly ever have this much to report about church.  Most of the time I can't pay attention in Sacrament meeting and don't pay close attention in Sunday school.  :)  It was a good day.  
• Today for family movie we finished watching Oliver.  I have distinct memories of watching this musical as a child and I knew my kids would love the songs.  I was right.  I loved hearing little Ellery sing, "Ol-i-ver, O-li-ver!"  It was a big hit, and now McKay has some good faces to put with the term "robber", which he was always asking about.  

• While staying with my parents in Utah, I ran almost every morning with my dad.  My mom would watch the kids while we took the dog out on a three and a half mile run.  It was wonderful.  I promised my dad I wouldn't lose the work that we put in, so I've been trying to continue running here.  It's been hard.  It's been really hard.  Mostly I've gone in the evenings, but on one occasion I put the girls in the stroller and McKay rode his bike.  It wasn't a very worthwhile run- between picking flowers at Ellery's direction, Layla crying, or nearly running into Mack every time he saw anything- anything- on the side of the rode I felt like it was a total waste of exercise time.  It was a lot more like a walk with my children.  Oh well, I'm trying.

• We had a really great Saturday this week.  We woke up and went to the Beaverton Farmer's Market. It's a really busy, fun market with the most beautiful produce.  We got strawberries, peas, lettuce, cherries, broccoli, sweet onions and, as always, fresh kettle corn.  So tatsy!

• While at the market we stopped at the playground to let the kids run around while Brian did a bit more shopping and I fed Layla popcorn puff after popcorn puff on a bench.  All the sudden I saw two girls from McKay's former preschool class.  Anna and Laura- the twins.  Just the other day McKay said to me, "Mom?  Do you think I'll ever see Anna again?"  And look at that!  There she was.  They were so excited to see each other, and I embarrassed McKay by telling them and their dad that he had just been asking about her.  Anna followed McKay all around the playground and he was thrilled.  

• After the market we came home and the kids played outside the whole rest of the day.  It was a true Saturday to me- I didn't shower until 9pm.  We worked on things at home, played outside and had pizza for dinner.  I love days where I don't shower til 9pm and we have pizza for dinner.

• Two of our neighbors had garage sales on Saturday.  Of course we perused the merchandise and Brian made out like a bandit, as my mom would say.  He got some fancy down sleeping bag, and three fancy pads for twenty bucks.  He even bartered with the guy.  I was proud.  He came home, showed me his purchases and then proceeded to unroll them, roll them up, lay on them, lay in them, toss them in his hands, stroke them, hug them, and stare at them for the remainder of the day.  I guess he did all that because he figured that he had just gotten over $200 worth of stuff for twenty bucks.  I would be happy too, but I was happier when he put down the pads and started paying attention to me again.

• Hooray for garage sale-ing though!  When the husbands on board, wonderful things could happen!

• At about five o'clock McKay and Isabella decided to sell apple juice in front of her garage sale.  They did this for about fifteen minutes (and made $2.75) before it was time to come in for dinner.  Isabella's mom suggested they do it again tomorrow.  Sunday.  It was really hard for McKay to realize that he would not be selling luke-warm apple juice to all those garage sale customers.  The whole Sunday issue has been a lot harder than I thought it would be.  Our neighborhood is often packed with children on a sunny Sunday afternoon and it's hard for our kids to understand why they can't be out there too.  Most of them know that we don't play on Sundays, so it's not like they're ringing the doorbell anymore, but it's still hard to see them out there, particularly for McKay.  We do our own things on Sunday as a family, and often times that involves going on a walk or to a park, but we rarely just hang out in the front yard where all the action is.      

• Ever since we got back we've been letting the kids stay up late.  I just had to surrender my seven o'clock bedtime and be relaxed and flexible for summer.  Once I gave it up, it felt better.  It's actually kind of nice being able to go to the park after dinner or staying out past seven.  This week we went to Summerlake Park until almost eight and it was the most beautiful evening.  We ate cupcakes on the grass, walked around the lake, looked for frogs and fed the ducks almost all of Layla's puffs.  I'm glad we are getting the chance to have those experiences that only come with a summer evening. 

• Today at church we were sitting behind two little twin baby boys.  Their names are Reese and Beck.  Ellery was asking what their names were and when I told her she looked at me and said, "That one's Beast and that one's Wreck?"  Beast and Wreck's dad thought that was hilarious and I feel some new nicknames coming on.  Also, it occurred to me that Beast is probably a totally normal name in her mind. It's just Belle's prince's name.  Nothing weird about it.

• Look at me.  For someone who didn't even want to blog, I sure blogged!

Happy Sunday!